I wasn't gonna do one this week, but late last night as the soup was cookin', I sat down at the computer and this fell out. No Australianisms here, it's pretty much a first draft.
prayers unanswered – for now
That one day I'll learn
Not to worry
About what I cannot alter
And get in there and do the best I can
That one day I'll be able
To look back
On the life that I was given
And know I lived it like a man
That one day my anger
Will be righteous
That it'll be about the right things
And won't twist and scar my soul
That one day I'll subdue
My desires
And keep my tendency
To procrastination under control
Bridge
Before too long people
Who know me
Will be able to say
That I showed grace and class
On those occasions
When things weren't goin' my way
And I'm prayin'
[Insert inst of some sort here]
Bridge
I don't know how long it'll be
Before I'm hearin'
The tolling of the bell
But in my family
if you get to seventy
You're doin' very well
So I'm prayin'
That one day I will stand
Before the world
Just as I was made
No apologies, no pretence
That one day from force of habit
I'll tell the truth
In love and godly wisdom
And fear no consequence
Go Deeeeeees, bury this rubbish.
I had to read this a few times to get a rhythm, but the fact that I wanted to keep reading is a good sign. I really like this (but do you have an opening for this? Like, --I'm prayin'--)
That one day I’ll learn
Not to worry
About what I cannot alter
And get in there and do the best I can
That one day I’ll be able
To look back
On the life that I was given
And know I lived it like a man
Oh, For some reason this didn't flow when I read the entire verse at first, but after a couple of reads I got it. I really liked the line about procrastination. I don't think it's age related.
That one day I’ll subdue
My desires
And keep my tendency
To procrastination under control
I like this too:
Bridge
Before too long people
Who know me
Will be able to say
That I showed grace and class
On those occasions
When things weren’t goin’ my way
Bridge
I don’t know how long it’ll be
Before I’m hearin’
The tolling of the bell
But in my family
if you get to seventy
You’re doin’ very well
Hm...I pretty much like it all. Just like I said I had to read it a few times. Maybe my brain's just a little fried tonight because apparently I liked it, lol.
Joe
Hi'a
I agree with Joe
It needs an opening line and I'm praying ........ isd a good one
I also can not find a rhythm here, but that really depends on your style of singing, maybe we'll get to hear it,
I must say I like the content of the bridges more than the actual verses !!!!! they really stand out in comparison, the verses are ok, but didn't make me think, wow, really good.
Go well
Ja'mir
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
I like it - but I have to agree with Joe and Jamir, "I pray" would be a great opening line for this.....
pretty good piece of writing though,there's nothing at all in there that jumps out and says "change me!"
Unanswered Aussie prayers....
"Please let Glenn McGrath be fit"
"Please don't let Flintoff bat well"
"Please don't let Flintoff bowl well"
"Please don't let us lose the Ashes"
"Please Lord, tell Vic to shut the hell up about cricket"
I stand to win a LOT of money if England regain the ashes, several side-bets may rake in a lot more....that's why it's at the forefront of my thinking right now....
Already had a nice touch tonight, I backed Djibril Cisse to score the first goal for Liverpool and Liverpool to win 3-1....and the lads did me proud at odds of 40-1 for the double....the £10 note I invested was well worth it...
I know Marilyn said "NO MORE GUITARS!" a couple of weeks ago, but I can afford to splash out on one now....
Did I mention Liverpool won yet another trophy? No? Liverpool won the European Super Cup....beat CSK Moscow 3-1...
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Oh yeah...I invested another £10 a few months ago, another "double" - St Helens to be Super League Champions, and Jamie Lyon to be the "Man of Steel".....odds on that one were 36-1, so please wish me luck....I could've had 80-1 odds for that bet before the start of the season, but I wanted to see how Jamie settled in and how well Saints played the first few games...
Wish I'd gone with the gut instinct now....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
