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Y10W43 - Smiling (Five Smiling Faces)

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(@hobson)
Noble Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 794
Topic starter  

I confess that I had a head start on this one. For W42, I started to write about a photo of a family who are all smiling in the picture but are not happy. I never finished that, but used it as a basis for W43. I don't like the title as just "Smiling." I'll probably end up calling it "Five Smiling Faces." Here it is:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=11858485

chorus:

Five smiling faces suspended in time,
Captured in a silver frame,
Displayed on my desk,
Dressed in our Sunday best.
Mom and Dad not speaking.
Neither one taking the blame.

verse:

Dad died the next year
From cigarettes and beer.
I cried when he went
Over what might have been.

verse:

Carla left home,
Married in another time zone.
Until parted by death.
Last year she took her last breath.

chorus

verse:

Jeff doesn't call me
Since his bankruptcy.
Somehow I'm guilty
For lending him money.

verse:

Mom's still around,
Looking much older now.
She watches TV and sleeps,
Smiling at the picture she keeps.

chorus

verse:

I'm in that photo,
Taken forty years ago,
Of five smiling faces
In which no one embraces.

Renee


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

Renee,

Nice Job!

I've seen those type pictures. The only thought I had was
maybe have Mom smiling at the same picture.

It could be as simple as
Smiling at thispicture she keeps.

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Hi Renee,

Nice job! :D You seem to have a niche for bringing out the emotion of sad stories in sparse words; which is a good skill to have :wink:

Very well told.

Thanks for sharing.

James


   
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(@hobson)
Noble Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 794
Topic starter  

Thanks for the comments, guys. I'm taking this as a challenge, James. I do seem to write in a particular niche. So I'm going to attempt to write a happy song and see what happens.

Renee


   
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(@andygetch)
Reputable Member
Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 328
 

Renee, Very nice. I'll add my smiling face :D

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1228093


   
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