Year 10 Wk 43 Rich

Hi John,

Looks pretty clear and straightforward. :D

One suggestion:

Spent all my money............change to............Spend all my money

It reminds me of the song in Disney's Pocahontas "Mine, Mine, Mine"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6SrZ-6cGVA

Thanks for sharing.

James

Thanks James,

Spent was a typo. Duly noted and changed.

I enjoyed the video.

John

Clear and to the point. There's a lot of repetition of "I want." You could add some variety: I gotta have, I need, I would get.

Also, how about changing this:

I want to drink Dom Perignon
While I eat caviar

To this:

Drinking Dom Perignon rosé
While I eat caviar

That would put the focus on the women and cars and also refers to a specific expensive champagne that a wannabe rich guy would know about. You could also refer to a specific rare caviar (I know nothing about that).

Renee,

You are absolutely correct about the repetitive " I want". I will edited to improve on that.

I'll have to disagree with the "Dom Perignon" I see the singer as a pizza and beer type
of guy and only knows things like caviar and fine wine though pop culture references.

Edit:

Rich

I want to be rich
I want to get mine
With enough money to burn
So I can have a good time

Spend all my money
On women and cars
Drinking that Dom Perignon
While I eat caviar

I want to be rich
Wealthy as hell
Have a big office on Wall Street
Where I can buy and sell

Then I'll take all my profits
And invest overseas
I don't want the I.R.S.
To come looking for me

I want to be rich
With an eighty room home
Go off to eat breakfast in Paris
Then lunch in Rome

I could buy a jet airplane
And friends on Capitol Hill
Maybe even have dinner sometime
With Melinda and Bill

I want to be rich
I want to get mine
With enough money to burn
So I can have a good time

I want to be wealthy
I want to be set
So then the people will say
That's as good as it gets

That's as good as it gets

Thanks

John