Don't know whether I'll ever compose some music for this. I've been stuck on jury duty all week, so haven't been able to work on it. Plus, for some reason, the format of the lyrics makes me think of nothing but rap;. I don't like rap.
verse:
You've got twenty-seven items in the ten or less line.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
I can wait, you know. I've got the time.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
The clerk won't say nothin'. She gets minimum wage.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You don't think you're rude, only disengaged.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
chorus:
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
There are other people here. You're not alone.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
verse:
Today I saw my life with a sudden ending.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
When the light turned red, you were busy texting.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You never even noticed, wondered why I honked.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You were in your own world, looking zonked.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
chorus
verse:
You stuff the overhead with two large bags.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
There's no room for my jacket or my knapsack.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
Now you're reading a magazine, settled in,.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
The steward trying to close the overhead bin.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
bridge
chorus
a verse yet to be written
Renee
Hi Renee,
Good start :D
It reminds me a bit of the Foo Fighter's song "Walk";
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PkcfQtibmU
at least it fits with the video which seems to parody the Michael Douglas movie "Falling Down" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falling_Down
Suggestions:
How about trying from the POV of the store cashier? It would work for V1 and V2....
.....V3 takes the song too far out of location......V1 in the store to V2 work fine, but the logical V3 would be at home (problems with neighbors, spouse and/or kids......
OR.....if you the singer is not the clerk, the singer could be going to work/office (problems with boss or co-workers)
verse:
You've got twenty-seven items in the ten or less line.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
I can wait, you know. I've got the time.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
I'M JUST A CLERK GETTING minimum wage.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You don't think you're rude, only disengaged.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
chorus:
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
There are other people here. You're not alone.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
verse:
>>>>>When the light turned red, you were busy texting.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
>>>>Today I saw my life with a sudden ending.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You never even noticed, wondered why I honked.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You were in your own world, I GOT zonked.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
V3 and/or 4 about Home or Office
Thanks for sharing. :D
James
James, I took some of your advice. I replaced a verse entirely and moved some things around to make it more focused and give it a time progression.
verse:
Today I saw my life with a sudden ending.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
When the light turned red, you were busy texting.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You never even noticed, wondered why I honked.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You were in your own world, looking zonked.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
chorus:
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You don't notice other people, but you're not alone.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
verse:
You almost ran me over as you parked in two slots.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You didn't see the sign for the pedestrian walk.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You dinged the next car when you opened your door.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You took someone's cart when you went into the store.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
chorus
verse:
You've got twenty-seven items in the ten or less line.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
I can wait, you know. I've got the time.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
The clerk won't say nothin'. She gets minimum wage.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
You're beyond rude; you're disengaged.
Don't worry 'bout me. Just do what you please.
chorus
Renee
Hi Renee,
That's more focused :D
Suggestion.....I am wanting to see the word "Then" at the start of verse 2 to make the connection that it is a continuation of dialog with the same person
THEN You almost ran me over as you parked in two slots.
(This would be the 2nd time the singer's life flashes "I saw my life with a sudden ending."....you might point out a bit or it gets down played....probably depends on the vocal delivery to emphasize.
The strongest line in the first verse is "You don't think you're rude, only disengaged.". If you think about it, you could rearrange the lines so that it starts with this one.
When I was reading (and rearranging the words like they were scrabble pieces) I could hear it as a Gospel/Blues with call and response. This would require multiple voices..
The honed version is way way better - its interesting how songs develop and they're revised. It hangs together as a good story now - and is something we can all identify with.
Is there a recording? I wondered whether it would be easier to sing "just do what you will" or "just do what you do" rather than "just do what you please" - but then have just come to the conclusion it is probs best as it is.
Cheers,
HagRider
