Y12W5 - In Between

Hi Renee,

Looking good :D The only suggestion I have on the read is maybe use "nervously" instead of "anxiously"....I thought the singer was anticipating a check or something positive.

I look forward to the listen ;)

Thanks for sharing.

James

It's good work. You are using the word "I" an awful lot in this. Many times, you can drop the "I" word

IE:
In between jobs. No career.
Need a drink but I'm out of beer.

This might not be the best re-write, but my demonstration is to show that the "I" can be implied.

Hi Renee,

this is good :D.

I think I would drop the "just" in this line though
Don't call me homeless. I'm just in between homes.
to
Don't call me homeless. I'm in between homes.

that's a great line by the way :D

looking forward to the mp3

Paul

I changed some of the lyrics based on suggestions here. I don't see "anxiously" as expecting something good, but variously on-line dictionaries say that it can mean that, so I changed "anxiously" to "with anxiety."

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=12610141

Revised lyrics:

verse:

In between jobs. No career.
I need a drink but I'm out of beer.
Lost my apartment. My future's unknown.
Don't call me homeless. I'm just in between homes.

chorus:

In between I'm being squeezed.
In between is no place to be.

verse:

Got kicked off my friend's couch when I caused a scene.
I'm in between normal and insanity.
I open my P.O. box with anxiety.
Looks like I'm headed for bankruptcy.

chorus

verse:

I don't know what I'm praying for.
Don't know if I believe anymore.
If I take a good look at myself.
I'm farther from Heaven than I am from Hell.

chorus