Skip to content
Notifications
Clear all

Y3week20 Crowbait

11 Posts
6 Users
0 Reactions
849 Views
(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

hi. it was fun to look for 'west phrases'.. used some I found- for example: crowbait derogatorily describes a poor-quality horse and a croaker is a pessimist....... so here you go...

Crowbait

It's the sand in the barrel
That keeps me from pulling the trigger
It's the poor remnants
Of the time I thought we'd be riding the river
Oh, it's all these loose ends
That make me such a croaker

Deliriously I seek for some shadow
[You evacuated my heart, you know]

I hear threatening steps approaching from the west
Pray they're not heeled, I'm not yet set for another raid
So spare me this time... see, I'm already bandaged

There is one ensured way to escape, yeah, but

It's the sand in the barrel
That keeps me from pulling the trigger
It's the unfounded hope
Of absolution, growing like weed in my liver
Oh, it's all these loose roots
That make me such a croaker

I buried my bullets wishing for snow
[My fingers are no longer bold, you know]

There's a telegram on its way down from the coast
It may never reach me here still I know what it says
An offer of truce with your starvation exposed

There was a point at which I could've accepted, yeah, but it's passed

It's the sand in the barrel
That keeps me from pulling the trigger
It's that damn pride of mine
Smearing all signs of smoke I send her
Oh, it's all these loose twines
That make me tumble all the time

Oh, it's all these loose ends
Oh, it's all these loose roots, yeah
That make me such a croaker

cheers,
bluenightangel

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
Quote
(@pierson)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 367
 

This was my favorite part of the song:
Crowbait

It's the sand in the barrel
That keeps me from pulling the trigger
It's the poor remnants
Of the time I thought we'd be riding the river
Oh, it's all these loose ends
That make me such a croaker

Deliriously I seek for some shadow
[You evacuated my heart, you know]

I hear threatening steps approaching from the west
Pray they're not heeled, I'm not yet set for another raid
So spare me this time... see, I'm already bandaged

There is one ensured way to escape, yeah, but

It's the sand in the barrel
That keeps me from pulling the trigger
It's the unfounded hope
Of absolution, growing like weed in my liver
Oh, it's all these loose roots
That make me such a croaker

I buried my bullets wishing for snow
[My fingers are no longer bold, you know]

There's a telegram on its way down from the coast
It may never reach me here still I know what it says
An offer of truce with your starvation exposed

There was a point at which I could've accepted, yeah, but it's passed

It's the sand in the barrel
That keeps me from pulling the trigger
It's that darn pride of mine
Smearing all signs of smoke I send her
Oh, it's all these loose twines
That make me tumble all the time

Oh, it's all these loose ends
Oh, it's all these loose roots, yeah
That make me such a croaker

Keep it up!

There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!


   
ReplyQuote
 Val
(@val)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 106
 

Pierson, you said it all!


   
ReplyQuote
(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

wow :D thanks guys *blushing*

glad you like it :lol:
take care
bluenightangel

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
ReplyQuote
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Certainly waaaaaaaaaaay different to any song about the Old West I've ever seen.....

I like the way you've managed to capture the essence of the assignment without going over the top....this is nicely understated and subtle. Only one thing I'd change (and this is a personal thing) .....although "Crowbait" is a good title, I think "Sand in the Barrel" would suit better....but like I say, that's just my opinion....

Excellent!!!!!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
ReplyQuote
 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

WOW!

Good stuff. I was going to agree with Vic about the change in title but after reading it one more time I like Crowbait better.

Celt

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
ReplyQuote
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

It's just one of those personal quirks....I usually name a song after the last line of the chorus, or at least a word that actually appears in the song - but...as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, titles are in the mind's eye of the writer...."Crowbait" works fine, but ....thinking back to the westerns I saw as a kid....and I've seen a few over the last 40-odd years!!!!!.....crowbait means pretty much the same as buzzard food....ie anything dying with vultures circling overhead.....not just a tired old horse......

But.....it's up to you Anne, it's your song.....and a pretty good one at that.....

:D :D :D

.Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
ReplyQuote
(@illicit)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 111
 

It IS really good as lyrics, but I think where it shines for me is how cool it would be to sing. Every line rolls off the tongue smoothly. Especially this one:

I buried my bullets wishing for snow
[My fingers are no longer bold, you know]

*drool* Smoooth..

Good job!

Behold! The great northern viking's pinnacle of evolution! Behold my wavy blonde locks, my icy blue eyes and my muscular physique! Behold my.. screw this, I'm going to McDonald's.


   
ReplyQuote
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

After a few more views.....still great lyrics (Still jealous that some one of such tender years can come up with stuff like this week after week, especially when English isn't even your first language....is your IQ classifiable on the normal scale!!!???).....just wondering, what sort of rhythm/tempo/chord pattern have you got for this?

PM me as soon as you can ....think I have a backing track you'll like....OK I'm still in Amsterdam at the moment, but I can still visualise/audiolise (if there is such a word!!!) a song in my head....and the first thing I'm going to do, when I get home won't be to get the dirty laundry out, it'll be to check on the guitars......

Five days without a guitar!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Maybe thats "Auralise" - to hear a song in your head?

Either way,

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
ReplyQuote
(@pierson)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 367
 

How old are you bluenightangel? Vic mentioned it, so I can't help but ask.

There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!


   
ReplyQuote
(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

hey:)

you're posting again, vic :D I'm happy.... yeah I've read about your title quirk thing.. but I think i like the image of crowbait, even more now that you said it'd be someone dying with vultures above his head:))

Illcit, I'm glad you think it'll be good to sing(sometimes my stuff is a bit difficult at that) :wink: you might wanna give it a shot? :wink:

oh and vic, I've never got my IQ tested.. so I dunno;) (but let me tell you that much: I'm rather a dumb little kid when it comes down to living and daily life issues) I sent you a pm.. I'm curious to hear what you got especially as I got nothing :lol:

I'm 17 years old, pierson(valentine's day was my birthday)

sooo THANKS guys!
your comments are highly appreciated.
bluenightangel

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
ReplyQuote