Hey all!
Excellent assignment this week, thought I'd give it a try ! :)
My song didn't turn out at all what I expected, I had even written down what it was supposed to be about and missed it by a mile! The idea was to write about artists like Jeff Buckley or Kurt Cobain and how what they left behind keep their memory alive. I also wanted to enlighten the work they never got around to making, but I trailed way off in a sense that made the song a lot more general, or so I feel. Nevertheless, this is what I have so far.
*
The dead stay silent
V1
Come, sit by my fire and drink from my wine
Come, sit by my side, we both have time
Let me look at you, let me hear your story
The dead stay silent only in their graves
V2
Dry yourself, the river is angry these days
Dry yourself, your tears are only in vain
You've been brought here, you're free from your pain
Would you ever want to return
Pre chorus:
Those who mourn you will guard your memory
You'll be remembered
I hope you left something behind
to echo in eternity
Chorus
Elysium
We sing from beyond
(Remember us
we remember you)
*
I hope to record it tomorrow, right now I'm been practicing getting it right. The plan is having the chorus build up quite a bit (I need a choir to make it sound like I want to, it'll be fun singing over myself 10-20 times :lol: ) Any comments/questions are appreciated!
:)
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
Hey manontheside,
I quite like this. Of course, it'll be good to hear the recording too. :)
I feel drawn into the scene and the emotion from the characters comes across nicely.
Probably the only thing I'd like to see is a bit more. Just seemed to finish too quickly for me. Though this depends highly on how you wrap this in song.
Look forward to hearing it.
Good work. 8)
From little things big things grow - Paul Kelly
Yeah I agree it ended way too soon or are we just greedy and wanted more ???
Beautiful lovely writting
I enjoed the chorus very much
Hilch :?:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Hey MOTS,
good to see you back.
A nice twist to the assignment I think. I like it. As for more, Im not sure it needs any more, I guess it depends on where you want to go with it. At the moment the song gives comfort by way of knowing that the departed is in good company.
Look forward to hearing it.
A choir ? YES that would be awsome
Cheers
Paul
Thanks for the feedback guys! (and thanks Paul :))
I've uploaded the MP3 to my soundclick page now, try clicking here.
The song three and a half minutes long, I felt that another verse would sort of drag out the song.
Didn't get a choir though (or strings for that matter) :roll: Also, I didn't get the intensity for the chorus that I was trying for, but hopefully you'll understand what I'm aiming for.
Give it a listen and tell me what you think
:)
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
Kristian,
that mp3 is outstanding, I loved it. Ive been trying to think who it is that you remind me of, its Louis Armstrong. Great song, great voice well done.
Paul
Just had a listen to the mp3 and I totally agree with Paul: it was outstanding. Also now that I've heard the mp3 I think the length is perfect.
Could definitely hear elements of Louis Armstrong in there but also Jeff Buckley (not trying to compare as such, just your voice in some places sounded like Jeff's 8)).
I really enjoyed it. Thanks! :)
From little things big things grow - Paul Kelly
Thank you, both of you, you have no idea how much that means to me. Inspiration has been hard to come by for me for some months and I sort of just fell out of the forums here. It felt good to sit down and make this song and reading your comments really warm my heart. Again, thanks! :)
Louis Armstrong? That's a first (but hopefully not the last, I love his voice :)). I can't hear it myself though, I haven't heard that much of Armstrong either, I may not be the best to judge. I first discovered Jeff Buckley about a year ago, but he's had an impact on me (and filled my playlist) and I usually tend to emulate my strongest influence when I'm making a song.
:)
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
Man,
That was a great listen.
The over dubbing at the end is impressive.
Add me to your fan base.
John
Hi Manontheside
MP3 makes the whole thing work really, really well.
Good change of feel from verse to chorus. Can't stop huming it now.
Great stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
I went and listen to the song it is outstanding. You have a voice the brings to mind an early Tom Waits I too wish the song were longer. Great job I want hear more of you songs.
Thanks Frank
Life is not what you did. It's what you are doing.
Thanks for the kind words, I'm having trouble finding words to describe my appreciation.
Frank, I have some new songs in the works and am currently trying to get them recorded (that is, recorded in a way I'm satisfied with). If you want to hear more, just check in on my Soundclick page now and then, I'll upload them as soon as they're ready.
Thanks again :)
:)
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
i think this wouldve fit last weeks assignment to, cuz somebody (or it least it sounds like) has somehting in common with me by watching gladiator a little to much.
chec out my music
http://www.myspace.com/spencerbeasleymusic
pm if u like it or send me a message on myspace
