Y5week39 bits and pieces

#1 I like, I can see that there is some potential here, though at the moment I cannot expand on that

#2 Sorry, I got nothing at all on this line; the use of incorrect english sort of bugs me (maybe it would be different if there was more to the lyric), and I can't see what you are trying to convey with the idea presented; sorry!

#3 Is interesting. For me, it conjours up the idea of a process in someone's head; the willow winding itself up feels like the person is protecting themselves emotionally; the use of the word "crutches" makes me think that this person has become dependant on this way of shielding themselves from other's feelings - perhaps you could expand this by presenting the reason/s this person feels the need to do this?

Just my impressions :)

Pete

Hi Straycat

#1 Seems to be the more developed of the pieces and certainl is within your normal style. I reckon a bit of time persevering with it and you'll get there.

#2 Is a bit of an odd line. There's something in it for protesting about corporate earth (as it where) and their view of anti globalist ideology. I'd need to be a lot more indignant than I am currently in order to take this further. The line mightn't survive but the idea behind it would.

Good stuff

Bob :wink:

The willow winds itself until it touches
The creek where it's shallow
Where you stand with your crutches

The image these lines inspire seems to warrant a final line along these lines:

And find another excuse to wallow.