EDIT - just uploaded Mp3 at http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=225059 - just click on the song called "Back On Track."
Back On Track.
Well I used to love her but now it's over I feel like I'm released,
Like a bird from a cage no more pent-up rage hostilities have ceased,
Yeah freedom's fine tastes sweet like wine, thereis no bitter pill,
No aftertaste just a sense of waste at the years that have been filled,
With emptiness and a squabbling mess but that's all in the past,
Now I'm alone but I'm out of that rut, and I'm feeling better at last.
There was a time everything seemed fine but we just couldn't see,
We were drifting apart, separated hearts, trying to pull free,
And all the time those warning signs we chose to ignore,
Were getting stronger lasting longer it wasn't like before,
When love first hit us and the fever gripped us, should've known it wouldn't last,
It just slipped away, day after day, and the feeling passed.
It was good for a while, but then our smiles slowly disappeared,
For a time we drifted till the fog lifted and the way was clear,
I had to get away and fine someplace where I could be me again,
Not half of a couple perpetually troubled so I decided then,
No point going on when love has gone, flying in the face of the facts,
Now I'm on my own but I'm not lonely and my life's back on track.
____________________________________________________________________________
Okay can I get a drum roll please.....
And a fanfare.....
My 100th SSG song! June 11th, 2004 was the first song I posted in here....who'd have thought, just over four years later, I'd have written a hundred songs on various SSG topics. And some of them have been pretty decent, if I do say so myself...some of them poor, some average, but I reckon of those hundred songs, about 30 or so are keepers. Some I've never got around to recording - some have been recorded, but lost and never re-recorded - and some have been filed away for future reference. I think I'll make it a point in future to work on at least one old SSG song every week, till it's fit to record.
Anyway, back to this one - I'll try and get it recorded later, just finishing the music. I've been listening to Blood On The Tracks lately, so I'm in an open D sort of mood....seems to be working OK.
Later........
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Congrats, Vic.
And the lyrics to this song are the best I have seen from you.
Just excellent.
Here are some of lines of yours that I really like:
"Yeah freedom's fine tastes sweet like wine," (maybe "tastes good as sweet wine")
"drifting apart, separated hearts,"
"It was good for a while, but then our smiles"
"Not half of a couple perpetually troubled"
How hard did you work to get those lines?
Just one small matter in wording I suggest changing:
Change the word me to myself in the line:
"I had to get away and find someplace where I could be me again,"
Well done. Good job.
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Thanks, Ken. Took your suggestion up for the "where I could be myself again" line. I also meant to change "and the way was clear" to "and the way ahead was clear" when I recorded the MP3, but somehow I forgot - and I also got in a slight muddle with the very last line and inadvertently changed the lyrics there!
Ah well, 'tis only a first rough demo.....I'm mulling over what to do next. I'm undecided as to whether to have two acoustic guitars, and one of them play a slide solo, or to leave the guitar as it is and to add harmonica. I'll re-record it when I make my mind up.....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Sounds like the second hundred songs are all going to be keepers! Nice work here.
Definitely Dylanesque, but there's also a bit of Tom Petty in there. Not to mention a big chunk of Vic (and that's the best part :wink: ). Like Ken, I'm a big fan of the way you pulled off the internal rhymes throughout this song and I think that when you get comfortable with the phrasing it's going to sound even sweeter than it does now.
Only suggestion would be that when you put in the solo, only use the first four lines of a verse and then sing the last two lines of the second verse over again:
When love first hit us and the fever gripped us, should've known it wouldn't last,
It just slipped away, day after day, and the feeling passed.
Also, I'd like to suggest using "until" instead of "and" in that last line.
Can' wait to hear #101.
Peace
I think the best songs come out of personal experience, and you've certainly enforced that opinion. Congrats on number 100. I don't think I've ever counted the number of songs I've written, either for this forum or otherwise.
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
Fantastic job Vic, and congratulations on reaching the magic ton. :D :note1: :note2:
You kept the theme going, and got some good strong emotional stuff going, and yet also pulled off some great rhyming things too. That always looks and sounds really good when it's done, but it can be SO hard to pull off convincingly when we write. I really liked:
No aftertaste just a sense of waste
and didn't think you'd be able to pull that off again.... and then you did... :D
Gotta dash out the door now, but looking forward to listening later.
Cheers,
Chris
OK, back again after listening to the song. Enjoyed it, as usual.
Vic, I'm still amazed at how many of those punchy little rhyming pairs you got into the lines, and how well you brought it off. And I also have to say - although it's absoloutely none of my business - how impressive and mature the sentiments are despite how personal the events depicted, and how recent. That really is something.
Our next door neighbour split up with her husband about 18 months ago now, and we've had to field much of the wreckage. If I could get her to think and live even one line of that song I'd feel that I'd really achieved something.
Cheers,
Chris
Happy 100th Vic. The rhymes and the inner rhymes work really well for me. Musically I would like to see you break it up a bit more . . . . . perhaps add a bridge somewhere . . . . . . . but all in all a truly well executed effort.
Neil
Hi Vic
congrats on the 100. I liked the song. I also took a listen to some of your others. I liked them as well especially that's all right. I will find the time to go through them all eventually. Looking forward to hearing more of your stuff.
Malcolm
Wahoo 100 songs :D . Excellent effort my friend. There was a time back there that I was hot on your tail, but alas I have been very slack with my writing of late, concentrating more on my live stuff.
I'll have a listen to it tonight, the only thing that stikes me on the read is that there is no relief from the verses with a chorus or bridge so I'm interested in hearing how you dealt with that.
Cheers Vic (keep em comming)
Paul
Sounds really good Vic,
the only thing that stikes me on the read is that there is no relief from the verses with a chorus or bridge so I'm interested in hearing how you dealt with that.
The solos you have in between the verses certainly help with the relief, I think I would like to hear another instrument in there as well, maybe a harp or a flute. Vic, I think that this song is up there with your best, youve nailed it both lyrically and musically
cheers
Paul
