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Y6week37 cookie jar trap

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(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

Hi. Back to rambling, I think :wink:

Cookie Jar Trap (drinking with the devil)

I saw you tripping in the park last night
I was nestled in a chestnut tree
With a de la Mare poem on my knees
It was getting too dark to read

Well, I saw you tripping, everyone could
You flailed like an infant, confetti in your hair
Some cyclist called “get a job, hippie”
over his shoulder

After you'd stared at strangers' busy feet for a while,
With your hands lost on that paper-cut lawn
A red-hooded woman tugged at your raincoat
Asked “where is my father, I thought you
went out together”
.
And “what's that look for, have you been drinking tonight?”

Oh, and he said “Laura, you helped me up too many times
And I think I have fallen too low for gravity.
The chuckles your picture books used to instil in me
Are lately getting stuck in my throat, ah me,
Roaming beneath neon signs, my beliefs pour drip from drop
All out of me

See, I never thought I'd get this old
And echo my pa, but if you have a heart,
It will break, no matter what.

Whomever you love,
Parents, children,
Boyfriend, girlfriend,
Night-time companions
Or this grand chestnut tree here,
Eventually, it will break your heart.”

I don't know what she replied to that
Or how their story has ended
For I was dangling from my ankles
A fly on the walls of my cookie jar past.

Thanks to John, Ken (Citizen..), Paul and Vic for:
"Have you been drinking tonight?" (John)
"drip from drop (=instil)", "Smokers show up at a party with confetti already in their hair", "get a job, hippie" (Ken)
"Eventually, it will break your heart" (Paul)
and "Drinking with the Devil" (well, Vic, I didn't put it into the song, but it kind of sums up the idea behind it... like this is what happens if you think/care too much, or, if you drink with the devil)
:D thank you for helping me out :D

Well, true, the "Eventually it will break your heart" bit is the same old story I guess. And it's the same idea as in Moneybrother's song of the same title. But, well, what else is there :wink:

Cheers,
straycat.

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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(@pearlthekat)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 1468
 

wow.great song from disparate threads of peoples imaginations.i feel your songs are getting "tighter." (this is good!)n you're heading towards greatness!


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

So nobody else managed a song this week - except for Straycat. And what a good song! You manged to take the random phrases and knit them together with what seemed like a minimum of effort....

I've struggled all week to put a few phrases together ...... and failed, miserably. Good job someone's still in the land of the living......

And can write songs, with a story, seemingly effortlessly.....grrrr, I am SOOOO jealous!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

I'm with Vic here. You managed to put together a very good song while
we came up with nothing.

I thought this was going to be an easy assignment and
discovered I was wrong.

I also agree with Pearl that your writing seems to be getting much tighter

Good Job

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

:D :D :D

thank you :D
cheers,
straycat.

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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