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Y7W13 "Dreamer" by Julia Spring

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(@juliaspring)
Active Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 12
Topic starter  

Hello, I'm Julia Spring and I'm a newbie to everything such as songwriting, guitar and this board. I hope I did this right, I wrote a song using G & C.

"Dreamer" 1/27/09

Share your memories
Reach deep inside my heart
When the chocolate potion wears off
Do you stand on your own
Tell me a story
Pull me into your need

Chorus:
Dreamer Dream
Dream Girl Dream
Sweet all thats me

Magic white ponies strong and stern
Gallop through fields that yearn
Urge me to touch you
Silk velvet smooth
Tease the earth to dance
Spring flowers, spring flowers
Spring Flowers in bloom

repeat chorus

Also, I'm not sure how to take audio out of my video yet or haven't signed up to sound click so hope you don't mind that I just attached the live version on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ht5ZeXFOLxk

Peace
Julia


   
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(@citizennoir)
Noble Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 1247
 

Hi Julia, and welcome :D

What can I say; GREAT PIPES!

And a fellow asymetrical rhymer! :wink:

Also like how the 'In Color' song was done in B&W video :mrgreen:

Ken

"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway

"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles


   
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 KR2
(@kr2)
Famed Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 2717
 

Hi Julia
You gave us the link to your cover of "In Color"
I searched for your song "Dreamer" using keywords 'dreamer' and 'Julia Spring' and found it.
Hope you don't mind if I post your link for the others to listen and see

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ht5ZeXFOLxk

KR2

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


   
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(@stikman)
Reputable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 237
 

Hi Julia.

Beautiful lyrics...."magic white ponies", "tease the earth to dance".

Not sure what you mean by "When the chocolate potion wears off" though.

I like anything approaching 70% cocao :D .

I hope you submit some more.

Ernie

"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc

"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell


   
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(@citizennoir)
Noble Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 1247
 

I found her Dreamer song by clicking on 'Other songs by Julia' which gave three or four of her others.

The chocolate potion bit made me think of chocolate having the same effect as love does (it produces the same chemical reaction).... therefore, a love potion, both real and metaphorical I would guess.
Real and manufactured.... both fleeting.

sorry :wink:

Ken

"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway

"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles


   
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(@juliaspring)
Active Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 12
Topic starter  

So sorry about the wrong link thing, now you see my techno ditzy I am. Just did a cover while I had the camera pulled out.

I'm not sure where the ideas came from about the choc thing, thats just what came out on paper.

Thank you for all the time and comments you have given. I am humble by your kindness.

Peace
Julia Spring


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

Julia,

Welcome, Like your song.

Good Job

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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(@joehempel)
Famed Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 2415
 

Welcome to the board Julia!

Nice job on the song, nice singing, all around great job!
I'm not sure where the ideas came from about the choc thing, thats just what came out on paper.

Sometimes the best things come out like that.

In Space, no one can hear me sing!


   
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(@contagiousjerm)
Estimable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 176
 

Beautiful - you've got a great voice. I suggest that at the end you do the chorus a bit different - you go lower on "dreamer dream", but at the end try going up (start on the same note, but go higher). Or this would be really nice with some harmony joining in.

jeremy

And my Soundclick Page to listen to my song submissions: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=903876


   
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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Julia,

Nice start! :D I don't quite get the lyrics, but this seems like the style of song that you are supposed to. The story I picture is a woman (maybe mother) asking a young girl (maybe daughter) to share their "fairy tale" stories so the woman can recapture some youth or innocence lost, or escape "grown up" life...

I'd like to hear your meaning if you cared to share.

Suggestion:
You have a gifted voice! Consider broadening the range of your melody lines...one example that comes to mind is Sarah McLachlan...I am not saying try to be her...you need to find your own "voice" [pun intended :lol: ] but, I would have liked to have heard more variety...you sounded a bit reserved in trying to "ad lib" vocally, so maybe you would have to plot it out a bit...here is a link to another singer songwriter and again not to sound like her but to hear her "play with a melody line. http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=890478&content=songinfo&songID=7287904

You tended to hit notes strong and hold them for a while....At first, it was a captivating effect, but when it continued that way throughout the song, it felt like it slowed things down a bit b/c there wasn't much else happening instrument wise....You might have a full production in mind as to strings winds etc in mind so only take away what is useful...it's not a must change comment...more personal preference on my part

Thanks for sharing and welcome! :D

James


   
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(@juliaspring)
Active Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 12
Topic starter  

I am humbled by all you comments and suggestions.

Thank you so much for the welcome!

peace
Julia : :D


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

I hope I did this right, I wrote a song using G & C.

Close enough for rock'n'roll or government work.....it was meant to be one chord for the verse(s) and mix it up a little for the chorus(es.)

But hey, the main thing is, you got a song out of the assignment - and I got introduced to your voice! Definitely a bonus for the week, as far as I'm concerned.

The song itself - nice playing, great voice. Could use maybe a little more work on varying the melody, as jamestoffee suggested above (he's not been here long, but he's pretty sharp with his critiques - never very far out, I've noticed!) but overall, very listenable and I hope you're going to stick around and write & record some more!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@juliaspring)
Active Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 12
Topic starter  

Yes, sticking around I started a SRV song a little bluesy diddly my first in this style soooo I hope I can finish it up by the end of the week.

Be well
Julia :D


   
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