I think the foreign language assignment was a really tough one, even for a linguist like myself. Now I know what straycat goes through every week! If anyone would like any translating or checking into French or Spanish, I am at your service.
PS: this song is in 3/4 time. The foreign part is just a direct repetition of the English part, and probably sounds mildly silly to a Spanish native.
Sail Me Away
===========
When I have fought through a miserable day
Pouring the thoughts from my head I will lay
Down on my bed and then I'll hear you say
Hush, hush, hush
I'll close my eyes and gently I'll sway
On soft lapping waves in the wet salty spray
Untie the moorings and sail me away
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh
Sweep me to sea on an ocean of dreams
Heading southwesterly into the breeze
When I arrive you'll be holding my hand
In a tropical paradise, faraway land
Después de derrotas a ti volveré
Vaciando mi mente me acostaré
En mi cama contigo y te escucharé
Hush, hush, hush
Con ojos cerrados estaré balanceado
En olas suaves bajo rocÃo salado
Desata los amarres y navegame
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh
Llevame al mar, un oceano de sueños
Al suroeste por brisas y vientos
Cuando llego que me tomes la mano
En un paraÃso tropical y lejano
Sweep me to sea on an ocean of dreams
Heading southwesterly into the breeze
When I arrive you'll be holding my hand
In a tropical paradise, faraway land
Hi Martin,
Reads well :D (as far as the English version :roll: yo no hablo espanol :oops: )
Suggestion:
#1
This line is a bit forced:
Pouring the thoughts from my head I will lay
how about:
Pouring the thoughts from my head where I lay
...or you might try sticking with the "Dream Vacation" theme and getting ready for bed is like packing for the bon voyage.
The "Pouring the thoughts" could use another image.
#2
Consider if the line order is a bit out of sync....line 1 swaying.....line 2 waves spaying.....line 3 untie the boat .....
Line 3 should technically come first.....untie.....sway.....spray....
I'll close my eyes and gently I'll sway
On soft lapping waves in the wet salty spray
Untie the moorings and sail me away
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh
Thanks for sharing.
James
beautiful sentiment and flow (as far as i can judge :lol: ). brilliant idea to have a repetition of the lyrics in a foreign language.. i for one was struggling with how to justify the code switching...(and, at least in the one i posted, didn't manage to justify it at all :lol: ).
would love to hear!
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
