Whew, this has been a lot of work....if I'd known just how much work it'd take in the end, I'd have probably taken my lazy backside back to bed and not bothered. But once I got started, I just HAD to keep going....
The song's based on the book "The Book With No Name." I started by picking random page numbers, and taking the first line from that page. It's taken me a few days to sort them out into some sort of coherent order - what I didn't want to do was write verse after verse but end up with a series of unconnected vignettes.
So, as per the original article I pointed you all at by A-J Charron, I've messed about with phrasing and line lengths, and even the words, till I came up with something that looked like a song. The very last verse is a cheat - I had to tie the whole thing together, so I went back to the plot of the book.
Anyway, enough waffling - here's the song.
Santa Mondega.
The fortune-teller shook her head in a condescending manner,
She had no need to look into her crystal ball,
She knew exactly what he looked like,
Though he ain't showed his face in here this morning.
The priest felt more like weeping than he'd ever done before,
While the rodeo rider was playing with the crowd,
They were in a position neither of them liked,
Way too close for each other's liking.
And then, Elvis winked.
Very rock'n'roll, don't ya think?
What's so funny?
Better give him the money,
To buy a bottle of his favourite liquor
A glass of best bourbon on the rocks
Was what the kid came looking for last time
He taught the locals more than a few things
And didn't leave a trace of DNA.
And then, Elvis winked.
Very rock'n'roll, don't ya think?
What's so funny?
Better give him the money,
To buy a bottle of his favourite liquor
Well the kid shot the place to hell and back in a minute,
Though the gunsmoke smell hung around for days,
But the priest retrieved the blue stone in all the confusion,
And Santa Mondega went to hell.
And then, Elvis didn't wink,
Not so rock'n'roll, don't ya think,
Well it ain't so funny,
Better not give the kid any more money,
To buy a bottle of his favourite liquor.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm thinking, open tuning - probably open G, and a Dylanesque slant to the music......
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
That looks like it could be a very "fun" song. Good luck with it. 8)
Like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
I really really like this, considering how it was made and all it's a solid achievement.
The chorus is my favourite part, with the rhyming and Elvis and all. Very nice.
Could use a few touchups still, the DNA line seems to nag at me for some reason, maybe have a rethink of that?
Jay
Thanks for the feedback, Bluejay and jay!
The chorus is my favourite part, with the rhyming and Elvis and all. Very nice.
The chorus is the one bit I didn't have to mess around with much, or change....in the book (The Book With No Name) I got the source material from, Elvis is actually a hitman who meets a rather gruesome end, as do rather a lot of characters - it'd be a natural for Tarantino to film! The book's actually described as "Tarantino meets the Da Vinci Code."
Although, as I've said, this was a lot of work, I did have a lot of fun doing it as well - I might try this particular way of writing again.
Now I've got to get some music together!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
This sounds very Dylan, I can hear it as an outtake from Highway 61 Revisisted!
Hi Vic,
Good start :D I like the imagery and hints of a plot of a much larger story throughout the song. I think it's good that you "broke the rules" to tie it together in the end. If anything it seems to have sprung a new avenue of content for you to write about.
Thanks for sharing (and coming up with the assignment :wink: )
James
I'm still playin around with music for this one....
Got chords for the verses....
Em....022000
Em6...021000
Em7...020000
A7.....002020
then I'm still fooling around with chords for the chorus, along the lines of;
Cadd9...x32033
Dsus4...200233
G........320033
and an A7sus4 - x02233 in there as well....
Still working on it.....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi Vic
Great lyrics mate , reads really well to me ...
Thanks for the chords and the fingering , I learnt 2 new chords from this :) thanks mate
Love to hear it because those chords sound sweet
Take care
Trev... :note2:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
just wanted to chime in and say i like it :D
impressive coherence, too! that was the most trouble for me during this assignment, creatign a somewhat coherent story.
and the elvis part is fun!
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
