Hey!
Been having a small writing block - I've started but couldn't finish the last few assignments. But here finally is another song. :D
To listen click here here
Airport Man
The constant wailing of a baby
comes from somewhere down the hall
while the white snow in the dark night
continues to fall
It's noisy and it's crowded
and I'm touchy 'cause my phone
doesn't work, there's no reception
never felt so all alone
I see some cat who looks so 80's
think I'll call him rollin' rick
There's a guy with cowboy boots on
and I think I'll call him Dick
and this baby still is wailing
and the weather still is bad
I wish there was someone I could kick (chorus)
I wish there was something I could do
(but) I'm just stranded in this airport
without you
Someone sitting behind me
keeps whistling the same tune
over and over
the same bloody tune
And one unusually cheerful
stewardess is walking by
and I swear she's using uppers
(I wonder) if she'd take a bribe?
(chorus)
Marie I know you're waiting with the boys
in a decorated room with a cake and all
and one chair standing empty
(chorus)
Great turn, Stefan. I like the way you've done this- some of the lines don't seem like they'd fit when you read 'em, but you make them. (Who am I to talk, most of mine are like that!)
Repeat after me...
"Writer's block is good, when it leads to gems like this!"
Great turn.
Take care,
Casey
Hi Christaan or Stefan (Which do you prefer I address you as?),
Good start. I think you fit the assignment well. You capture that airport waiting room mood well :D ...not a fun mood :twisted: , but captured. :wink:
Suggestion:
Consider adding "missing you" as a rhyme to "do" on the chorus
and this baby still is wailing
and the weather still is bad
I wish there was someone I could kick (chorus)
I wish there was something I could do
(but) I'm just stranded in this airport
feeling helpless; MISSING YOU
If "missing you" is added then this might have to be tweaked a bit....something like....
Marie I know you're waiting with the boys
in a decorated room with a cake and all
and one chair standing empty
James
hi there, just wanting to let you know i really like this song. like Shady said, that one's been worth waiting for!
i am very fond of the blend between the waiting/frustation/melancholy mood and the hilarious bits (love the cat that's so 80s! and the cowboy. and the uppers lines.. had to look that up in a dictionary :oops: so i learned something on the way, as well - thanks :D ).
also thought the bit about being touchy because the mobile phone doesn't work was well-written... ties in nicely with the "feeling helpless" line in the chorus... i think it's fine on its own there, emphasises the helplessness... and, in its solitude, made me think of Neil Young's "Helpless" :wink:
thanks for sharing!
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Thanks for the positive comments (been having a lot of other stuff on my mind, sorry for not replying sooner :oops: )
Glad you liked the humour, straycat, it's always tricky to get that across but I guess I did.
Hi Christaan or Stefan (Which do you prefer I address you as?)
Yes, I knew this would come back to haunt me. When I created the soundclick account I was in a pretentious mood so I made up "Stefan Zomers" as a stage name. But after some clicking around, I found out how to change it. So that'll hopefully put an end to that confusion. And please call me Chris. :wink:
Suggestion:
Consider adding "missing you" as a rhyme to "do" on the chorus
[...]
(but) I'm just stranded in this airport
feeling helpless; MISSING YOU
If "missing you" is added then this might have to be tweaked a bit....something like....
Marie I know you're waiting with the boys
in a decorated room with a cake and all
and one chair standing empty
I like it! The changes you suggested make it a lot more personal and direct, so that's good. I'll just change "missing you" to "without you". I'll probably leave the mp3 like it is, but I've already changed the lines on paper.
I must admit, I don't know quite what to make of this song... on the recording, your guitar playing and tone of voice sounds so serious, but then the lyrics are describing a comically absurd scenario.
Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but is the song intended as a parody of serious country music like Neil Young / Johnny Cash?
If so, that's fine, but you do realise that if you had a few more poetic lines like
"while the white snow in the dark night continues to fall"
you could turn it into a truly awesome song?
Hey Martin,
I must admit, I don't know quite what to make of this song... on the recording, your guitar playing and tone of voice sounds so serious, but then the lyrics are describing a comically absurd scenario.
The idea behind the song was this: the main character is frustrated at being stuck in an airport, and to fight his boredom he makes sarcastic, dark comments about people around him.
Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but is the song intended as a parody of serious country music like Neil Young / Johnny Cash?
No, it's not. It's an honest exploration of a character who is waiting in an airport, and how he would act / think.
If so, that's fine, but you do realise that if you had a few more poetic lines like
"while the white snow in the dark night continues to fall"
you could turn it into a truly awesome song?
Thanks for the veiled praise, but I really think that would have been boring. The contrast between the serious and absurd lines is what made it interesting to write, and what makes it still interesting when I read it.
