I came across a guy's soundclick site and thought he had interesting approach or seasoning to his music, so I gave it a go.
New Wine http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=482005
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8973197
Song of Solomon 4:1-15 (The Message Version)
REMIXED VERSION
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=9536299
ORIGINAL MIX VERSION [heavy v-vocal effect]
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=9532737
1-5 You're so beautiful, my darling, so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled
By your hair as it flows and shimmers,
like a flock of goats in the distance
streaming down a hillside in the sunshine.
Your smile is generous and full—
expressive and strong and clean.
Your lips are jewel red,
your mouth elegant and inviting,
your veiled cheeks soft and radiant.
The smooth, lithe lines of your neck
command notice—all heads turn in awe and admiration!
Your breasts are like fawns,
twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers.
6-7 The sweet, fragrant curves of your body,
the soft, spiced contours of your flesh
Invite me, and I come. I stay
until dawn breathes its light and night slips away.
You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love,
beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.
8-15 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride.
Leave Lebanon behind, and come.
Leave your high mountain hideaway.
Abandon your wilderness seclusion,
Where you keep company with lions
and panthers guard your safety.
You've captured my heart, dear friend.
You looked at me, and I fell in love.
One look my way and I was hopelessly in love!
How beautiful your love, dear, dear friend—
far more pleasing than a fine, rare wine,
your fragrance more exotic than select spices.
The kisses of your lips are honey, my love,
every syllable you speak a delicacy to savor.
Your clothes smell like the wild outdoors,
the ozone scent of high mountains.
Dear lover and friend, you're a secret garden,
a private and pure fountain.
Body and soul, you are paradise,
a whole orchard of succulent fruits—
Ripe apricots and peaches,
oranges and pears;
Nut trees and cinnamon,
and all scented woods;
Mint and lavender,
and all herbs aromatic;
A garden fountain, sparkling and splashing,
fed by spring waters from the Lebanon mountains.
Song of Solomon Chapter 4, my love
James,
First of all I applaud your willingness to experiment and use of Biblical text.
Unfortunately I don't like that particular vocal effect. Maybe if you backed it
off a bit or didn't use for the whole song. I'm sure you put lots of effort into
this and that shows. It's just not to my personal liking.
Sorry
:note1: :note1: :note1:
John
Sup J,
First off, I'll give you props for trying a style that is highly experimental for what is usual fare on GN. Sometimes these experiments are worth it for the process and opening our horizons, regardless of the results.
That said, I agree with Celt. Very bluntly, I'm sick of hearing vocal processing on everything commercial these days, that it acts as an instant turn off for me. That's just me, tho, I know there are people who haven't tired of it yet. So, if you stick with this style, I'd say try to make the vocals clearer and a better fit in the mix - at times the words are really unintelligible, especially without the lyrics as a guide (I tried listening once without the lyrics in front of me, then again with them there). I don't know what you used specifically in processing, but it sounds like it could do with more tweaking (and yeah, I know you've posted in under 24hour from the assignment being set, so take all this as me being uber-critical in a constructive way, please! :wink: ). Also, and bear in mind I'm listening on laptop speakers here, so monitors may give a better mix, but to me it's sounding too much like a backing track with vocals laid on top - there's too much separation between the two. I'd work on getting some of the instruments to pop, or maybe rephrasing the vocals to give more space between phrases for the instruments to, uh, do stuff.
Generally, it sounds a bit reminiscent of Trent Reznor's NIN remixes to me. There's an album he did of them (I don't recall the name). If you wanted to continue in this vein, I'd recommend giving listen to those for some ideas and to use as reference mixes.
But, overall, massive props for doing something completely different to what is usual around here, and also for submitting it so early in the week - that you created this in less than 24 hours, and fitted in around work/sleep/etc is really impressive.
Hi John,
It's just not to my personal liking.
Sorry
No need to apologize. :D Thanks for taking the time to listen and post; especially since it was not the most enjoyable listen :wink:
Thanks again for the encouragement. As you called it, it's an experiment.
Hey Scrybe,
Thanks also for the listen and post. :D I agree with all you commented on: from the overuse of the v-vocal, the lack of clarity in the vocals, the mix not mixing, that NIN would be a good reference point regarding production sound :D
Thanks for being supportive of the experimenting. :D
I have learned some bits and pieces of knowledge just by going through the process.
Again, I appreciate you both for taking the time to critique and give me feedback :D
Thanks,
James
Anything you learn from is worth doing, imo. Glad you found the comments useful. And I mean it when I said great effort on experimenting - the worst thing any creative person can do is stagnate and stick with what are tried and tested formulas for themselves.
I don't know if you are aware of my Audio Flasher blog (which I must get back to - at audioflasher.blogspot.com), but the whole purpose with that was to set myself interesting tasks, like record and mix an improvised piece within an hour, to try to challenge myself to work differently. If you ever want to contribute to that project, just buzz me, I'm always happy to get people involved in it.
Hi Scrybe,
I wasn't aware of your Audio Flasher blog. Thanks for sharing. :D I'll have to look into it more as time allows.
It looks like an interesting concept. With regards to the time constraint experiment (one hour music and mix) I'm reading a book I that just came in the mail called "Writing Better Lyrics". The author introduces a similar concept of 10 minute morning writing everyday not as a substitute for songwriting but as a way to prepare for lyric writing. I've seen the idea in the book "The Artist's Way" and a book by Edward De Bono called "How to Have Creative Ideas"
I keep finding myself wanting to shorten the time it takes to "get creative" so I can put "regular life" in balance with song writing, but it's good to flip through my old "research notes" on previous SSG assignments. I realized I typically read about 20-30 pages of materials for each assignment....so I still need to cram a lot of info into my cranium to get something going.....I guess I am hoping to get more selective and learning how to dive deeper faster.
Regarding the music side of creativity, there is a web site with a similar idea of collaboration at
http://www.kompoz.com/compose-collaborate/home.music
You might find other musicians to collaborate and experiment with there as well.
Cheers,
James
PS I uploaded a less v-vocalled version of the song...hopefully a cleaner and better balanced mix :roll:
