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Y9 W12 - Home?

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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
Topic starter  

Inspired by looking around the house and looking at all the technology we've got - and don't really need.

(V1)Got a washing machine that makes toast,
And a microwave that plays music,
Got a fridge with a geiger counter,
So we don't get too sick,
Got all the latest gadgets and gimmicks,
But I'm owned by the moneylenders,
They just love people like us,
Keepin' up with the Jones, big spenders....

(V2)Got a 50-inch plasma TV,
That does nothing for me at all,
Thousands of channels, nothing to watch,
Well, except for the football,
Got all the latest gadgets and gimmicks,
But I long for simplicity,
We're all slaves to the market,
But I just long to be free.

(Chorus)I could give 'em all away tomorrow,
Without a single regret,
I'd love to live a simpler life,
Would I be happy? You bet!
I could throw it all away tomorrow,
And risk it all on chance,
Just take my guitar and hit the road,
Without a backward glance,

(V3)Got a wife who doesn't notice me,
Never hears a word I say,
Got kids who never communicate,
Since they grew up and moved away,
Got all the latest gadgets and gimmicks,
To keep in touch,
Cost a fortune to install,
But they don't get used that much.

(Chorus)I could give 'em all away tomorrow,
Without a single regret,
I'd love to live a simpler life,
Would I be happy? You bet!
I could throw it all away tomorrow,
And risk it all on chance,
Just take my guitar and hit the road,
Without a backward glance,

(Bridge)We're way too reliant these days,
On the latest technology,
If you've not got the latest upgrade,
Well you're less than nothing like me,
yeah you've got to keep up with the fashions,
Got to keep up with the trends,
Got to be a dedicated follower,
Or you'll have no friends.....

(Chorus)But I could give 'em all away tomorrow,
Without a single regret,
I'd love to live a simpler life,
Would I be happy? You bet!
I could throw it all away tomorrow,
And risk it all on chance,
Just take my guitar and hit the road,
Without a backward glance......

This is a VERY rough first draft, I'll have a look at it in the morning when I'm a little more sober and see if it can be improved. In the meantime, all comments welcome....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@davidhodge)
Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 4472
 

Hi Vic

Both you and Dylan gracing us for two straight weeks! Hope our luck continues to hold out.

This is a great concept and definitely could use some tweaking / toning / development. I want to spend more time on this as well, but after a couple of initial run throughs, my biggest suggestion would be changing the word "fashion" in the bridge. Since it's all about technology "fashion" seems out of place, even with the "dedicated follower" (nice homage to Ray, by the way). So I'd like to suggest the following even though it still includes "fashions" at the risk of saying that the BBC probably wouldn't play it since it names brands:

We're way too reliant these days,
On the latest technology,
If you've not got the latest upgrade,
Well you're less than nothing like me,
Post your latest Facebook fashions,
Tweet and twitter all the trends,
Got to be a dedicated follower,
Or you'll have no friends.....

Not the greatest, I know, but hopefully it will spark some ideas.

Looking forward to seeing (and maybe hearing) how this one develops. Great to see you again and, at the risk of pushing my luck, I'll be expecting you next week, too!

Peace


   
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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Hi Vic,

Good start :D

Only suggestion, which isn't necessarily better would be "(Chorus)But I could give 'em all away tomorrow,"

to

(Chorus)I'll give 'em all away tomorrow,

This way the listener is asking....is he really going to do it?.....If it stays as is, the question is if you could do it and it will make your life better....then why don't you.

Thanks for sharing.

James


   
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(@dylanbarrett)
Prominent Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 628
 

Hey Vic, how's the hangover?

It's been a long long time since I had the nerve to comment on someone else's work but I suppose I'll just jump straight in...

Get rid of the TV (not literally) just at the end of the 'plasma' line...

Moneylenders...Hmmmm - I'd love to get 'Sharks' in their somewhere...but that's just me!

Dave commented on the Bridge - I didn't like the word 'reliant' - maybe move things around a bit...

But of course, when you put it to music - it just might flow...

Ahhh, if life were that simple.

Rock on!
D 8)

I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
Topic starter  

Post your latest Facebook fashions,
Tweet and twitter all the trends,
Got to be a dedicated follower,
Or you'll have no friends.....

I immediately thought "Dedicated Follower" =twitter and "have no friends" = facebook and tying that in with Ray Davies classic line tells us fads are still ruling our lives maybe even more so than in the 60's so
while I like David's suggestion I think making it more blatant takes a little bit away from the cleverness of the lyrics.

I'm in two minds now - I wanted to be more subtle with the bridge, and not name names, because I'd gone a bit over the top with the first verse. Glad you both picked up on the "Dedicated follower" reference though....RD's one of my all-time heroes, thought it'd be nice to throw a little tribute to him in there.

First verse was actually inspired by something Nick once said - something about putting a geiger counter into a golf club so's you could find the (slightly radioactive) ball more easily. "Sometimes," he said, "you just want to say, hit the freakin' ball!"

The song itself is about how our lives are ruled by new technology and how everyone can't wait for the latest super-upgrade to their phones, computers, game-stations....and whatever else. I've never been one for that - all I need is my music, as long as I've got a guitar and a radio that I can get some decent oldies on I'm happy. Take last night....Marilyn, two daughters and a son all went to bingo. What did I do? Listened to the radio and got the guitar out and played along with the songs I knew. That gave me the spark for the song.

I'd had quite a bit to drink when I wrote this - I thought "this is not going to look good when you sober up, Vic." Surprisingly, I was quite pleased with (a) the song and (b) the comments. Now I'm thinking this one might be a keeper - I can see a few rough spots but I don't think it's going to take a lot of work to smooth 'em out.
Hey Vic, how's the hangover?

Terrible - that's why I'm still sat up at 3am with a glass of cider and a guitar. But it's nice Cider and the guitar's sounding sweet....pity the Apple label's folded.....

Roll on the morning - cheque should be cleared and I can make a few rock'n'roll related purchases.....#

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@melody)
Eminent Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 39
 

I really liked this, the content is great. I've often wanted to write a similar song but the words were a jumbled mess in my head, lol, and you seem to have gotten my sentiments out in a fine way!

So, yes I can relate to this. 'thousands of channels but nothing to watch', :lol: :lol: :lol:

I hope you'll keep working on this one and eventually let us hear it with music. As far as I'm concerned the chorus doesn't need much changing at all, to me it is very good just the way it is and would love to hear you sing the 'Would I be happy? You bet!' line, lots of room for expression there and I like how the structure of that line went. Verses could use a little changing here and there maybe but you've received some good comments already to help you on your way, so good luck with this one!


   
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