Something a little lighter this week.
http://www.soundclick.com/neilstuart
DUMB LUCK
Where'd you come from
I wasn't looking for you
I was happy
knew what I wanted to do
I had a plan
every step of every day
now I've changed direction
not sure I know the way
dumb luck, knocked at my door
didn't know I wanted it, couldn't ask for more
dumb luck, fat chance
now you're here, romance
dreamed for one
never thought I'd be dreaming for two
everything laid out
now everything's under review
What's next,
what will we do
does it pay to plan
now that I've met you
dumb luck, knocked at my door
didn't know I wanted it, couldn't ask for more
dumb luck, fat chance
now you're here, romance
it was Dumb luck, nothing planned
I can't believe how fortunate I am
but there's one thing I've just got to ask
can you tell me how long will it last
dumb luck, knocked at my door
didn't know I wanted it, couldn't ask for more
dumb luck, fat chance
now you're here, romance
dumb luck, fat chance
now you're here, romance
Hi Neil,
Good start :D It's interesting how it seems to change meter when shifting sections.....makes it more "organic" sounding.
I'm not sure I understand this section:
everything laid out
now everything's under review
Also, this is a song that seems to border between a compliment and sarcasm; depending on the delivery b/c it seems almost like the singer is calling the singee "Dumb Luck".....I keep imagining him sing "Dumb Blond" like the singer is a player; but it's most likely my over active imagination :roll: .....also with the line "but there's one thing I've just got to ask
can you tell me how long will it last"......this seems like a wet blanket on a romance.....asking how long the relationship is going to last......I'm not sure I am offering any suggestions, just pointing out some things that are leaving me a bit unclear on as the listener.
Thanks for sharing.
James
Hi Neil
Maybe it's me, but I almost always find "lighter" songs fairly serious. They can be a lot harder to construct because making someone smile, as opposed to making one chortle or guffaw, requires the right touch and balance, I think you found it here and you pull it off very nicely.
I'm with James about the stanza before the last verse:
it was Dumb luck, nothing planned
I can't believe how fortunate I am
but there's one thing I've just got to ask
can you tell me how long will it last
Directly asking "how long will it last" puts your narrator of this line at odds with narrator who, up to this point, is thrilled to have found Dumb Luck and willing to trust it. You can put that trust back with a simple tweak:
it was Dumb luck, nothing planned
I can't believe how fortunate I am
Not worried where we go how slow or how fast
As long as we're together our luck (or love) is going to last
Or maybe:
it was Dumb luck, nothing planned
I can't believe how fortunate I am
Not worried 'bout a thing as long as we're together
Just put your hand in mine and our luck (or love) can last forever
These aren't the greatest, but hopefully they might give you better ideas.
Good to see (and hear) you again, sir. Looking forward to more.
Peace
Hi Neil,
the concept of an unexpected change and the singer pondering their future works for me. As a suggestion maybe you could take advantage of the literal meaning of dumb when you ask your question about how long it will last, clearly the only way fate can answer you is through the passage time.
cheers
Paul
