Along with some responses, it seems my original post is also gone. I was already going to be late for the first assignment of the year (internet down) but I didn't think I'd be this late. Well here it is. My inspiration came from somebody whom I reluctantly had to meet. Once I saw her pendant, I felt more at ease with my shallowness. Can't change what you don't acknowledge (I think I'm channelling Dr. Phil), right? All comments welcome. Thanks. G.
Let Me In
Gwynne 2005
He didn't see her standing there
His glance walked right on by
He took the time to stop and judge
Though he didn't look in her eye
The pendant sparkled on her chest
He caught a glimpse of gold
“Live, love and laugh†he read
Are you trying to buy my soul?
Chorus
Just the same, you and me
The only thing different is what you see
Where do I end and you begin
Look in my eyes, I'll let you in
She took one sorry look at him
His legs just didn't move
She'd have to look past his luck
She's got something she has to prove
As she helped him up she saw
Tattooed up on his arm
“Live, love and laugh†she read
Are you willing to take me that far?
Repeat Chorus
As she walked away she knew
She saw herself in him
As the tears burn down her cheek
She said “Thanks for letting me inâ€
very nicely done, what kind of chord progression were you thinking of? While reading it I hear kind of a neil young/ country vibe, I'll be interested in hearing your music choice for this.
Immature? Of course I'm immature Einstein, I'm 50 and in a Rock and ROll band.
New Band site http://www.myspace.com/guidedbymonkeys
Hi Gwynne,
This is a nice well balanced song, well done :D .
I would say definitely a country number, I thought of Kenny Rogers when I read it.
My only comment is this verse:
He didn't see her standing there
His glance walked right on by
He took the time to stop and judge
Though he didn't look in her eye
I know what you're trying to say, but if he doesn't notice her why did he stop judge. For me, its just a little inconsistency that I'm sure wont take much to fix.
Where do I end and you begin
This is a great line
Keep up the good work
pbee
You have a point, Pbee, but......
He didn't see her standing there
His glance walked right on by
He took the time to stop and judge
Though he didn't look in her eye
could possibly be construed this way.....
He....whoever he is - let his glance run all over the woman's body, he didn't see the person behind the body/facade - since the song's about shallowness, in a manner of speaking, I think it fits well....
Nice song, Gwynne, worth waiting for....being English, I saw this as more of a finger-picked folk ballad...but hey, that's just me....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
He....whoever he is - let his glance run all over the woman's body, he didn't see the person behind the body/facade
Yeah, thats a point.
Nice Song,
I had the same problem as Pbee but Vic explained it very well.
So far people have heard this as Neil Young, Country,and
a finger-picking Folk Ballad.
Just to add to the confusion I'm hearing a Joni Mitchell
open-tuning sort of thing.
So I guess we all want to know what you have in mind
John
Thanks everybody for your comments.
Vic wrote
he didn't see the person behind the body/facade
That was what I intended. Interesting to see other interpretations.
I've got a tune in my head, I don't know who it sounds like, besides me. It is definitely country though. I'll get my guitar player to help me and I'll post when I can. Since I've just started playing apx 3 weeks ago, I'm not even close to being ready to post my own playing! But soon...
Again, thank you for your responses. G. :)
Rocketgirl, I could have swore that I commented on this. Maybe it was before the ruckus. But I really love this song. Very country to me, new country in my head (Which you and I both know i love).
Keep up the excellent work, I cant wait to hear it
Geoo
“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)
