Been busy for the last little while, but back for now, and saw this week's topic and erm... dived right in.
Perhaps a little too enthusiastically, ending up with this which is possibly too long. Oh well, I think I lost the plot (in both ways :lol: ) in the middle somewhere, and when Nowhere became a place well then it all fell apart, so any advice would be nice :D
A new day begins again
With the clipping of the trees
No clouds stood in the way
You lay there resting beside me
Our dreams were swept away
In the light of day
The blaze of light so strong
Broke us from our quiet sleep
We're only halfway now
Halfway awake, together once more
We're only halfway now
The light of day, caressing our souls
Our gaze drifted over the tracks
Sinking deeply into the dark
The tunnel lit brightly by the oncoming train
It came and hissed to a stop
The whistle rang out loudly
As we leaped quickly on board
With our bags pulled behind us
Our trip to nowhere began
We're only halfway now
Oh we're alone on the train
We're only halfway now
Halfway to a place we don't know
The train lurched to a stop
We scuttled off in the oncoming rush
The people shoved to get on
To run from the nowhere they belong
We stepped out into the cold
From the platform of the trains
The rain splattered down from above
And we cowered alone, once again
We're only halfway now
Oh we're walking alone
We're only halfway now
Halfway to Nowhere's centre
We're only halfway now
Halfway to the quiet and the cold
We're only halfway now
Halfway to a place to call our own
Our trip to nowhere began
Perhaps,
Together our journey began
because their destination is not certain.
To run from the nowhere they belong
Are they running to or from the nowhere they belong? Maybe,
To run to the somewhere they belong?
KR2
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Thanks for the comment KR2!
I think you're definitely right about the first one, makes a bit more sense.
To explain the second, I was saying how the main characters were going to nowhere and the random people were leaving nowhere, I think it got too confusing at that point though.
Perhaps
To run to wherever they belong
Jay
Yeh, you could go there . . . the Beatles did in Yellow Submarine . . . . "Nowhere Man".
I was thinking the train ride was more like a metaphor for their lives together . . .
They're going to "ride that train" . . . of matrimony? . . . who knows? . . .
maybe the train will get derailed . . . maybe the next stop is Divorce Junction . . .
KR2
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Jay,
Good start :D You seem to be pretty strong at developing details. Each verse I was intrigued and wanting more.
Suggestion:
Consider piecing a story together even if it is not directly told in the song. Then go back over the verses and take out what doesn't fit the story line or add in what's missing.
James
maybe the next stop is Divorce Junction
Haha, nice, sounds like another song entirely that one.
I get what you mean there though, and what you said james, maybe it is just a story of their lives.
Jay,
Not much to add there is lots of good advice already.
This does seem like one that is worth putting the effort into though.
:note1: :note1: :note1:
John
Hey
Just echoing what has already been said ,
Nice piece of writing and most definitely worth working on
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
