Even though this is not my first song i have ever written (i have about 2 notebooks full) it is one that is more meaningful than most. First of all this is a religious song about Satan trying to use the tramatic events in my life to try and stop me from following Gods plan for my life. Feedback would be nice, hopefully its not bashin my Beliefs and more about the song. Its called "Message of the Arrows":
V1:
My hurt seems complete today
The would bleeds with lies as my shattered heart dies.
Too much too soon its seems, and my failures haunt anew
Who am i to say they should change
While my behavior stays the same
Chorus:
The message of the arrows has come to call.
I stand on the edge of myself, contemplating the fall.
The walls around me echo, screaming with the sound.
Your promise resounds in my head, that you will never let me down
So i call on your name, and pray for the day.
V2:
This state it left has left my in deep regression
My imperfections have become my sole obsession
I always seem to praise your name, only to walk away
Continue to live my life the exact same way
V3:
Looking at what i should be,
doesnt mirror the one staring back at me.
What i wouldnt give to look through your eyes
To see the truth from the lies
(Chorus)
PK,
Welcome!
Good song.
I like the imagery especially in v2 and v3.
The chorus seemed a little wordy for me but you probably have it fitting into the song fine.
Just an idea if you were looking to shorten it.
The message of the arrows comes to call.
I stand on the edge, contemplating the fall.
The walls around me echo with the sound.
Your promise resounds; you'll never let me down
So i call on your name, and pray for the day
Like I said, you probably have it fitting into your meter already.
Good message!
Be Blessed!
Greg
I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was - White Goodman (Dodgeball)
Hey, I just wanted to tell you that i love this song too. It's very emotional. Brave of you to ask for comments on it. Post more! I wanna hear it, although I can't really hear it. ttyl! xoxo ~Crystal Simone~
Let me start by welcoming you.
On to the song, Excellent. Very image stricken and great point of view. I liked it a lot because I wrote a song like this about temptation that I posted a while back. I don't know the link to it, but I'll post it again for ya. (Not just advertising my song :wink: )
Again great stuff. Keep it up!
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
Love it. your words ring with such truth and power- and the imagery and symbolic metaphors are amazing- unforgettable. I can only hope to create songs with such a powerful message and meaning; the world could surely do with more of them. nice work :)
Jacqui
"Iam a question to the world... not an answer to be heard."
Welcome and Awesome song.
Keep posting!!
