30 Years (Week 47 )

I am not too sure about the title , I was even think ode to Loretta Lynn
here is a short cut to her lyrics of Stand by her man
http://www.sinteticor.com/artist_l/loretta_lynn_lyrics/stand_by_your_man_lyrics.html
I was watching a documentry on famous country and western female musicians , Loretta Lynn Dolly Parton , Patsy Kline and so many others and I have always liked Stand by your man by Loretta Lynn for some reason ...

A quote from Loretta Lynn on that song was ,

" It took 30 minutes to write and 30 years to defend "

So here it is a country song is how I wrote it , there is repeating of words in the same lines through this but when you read it pause before you say the same word again ( hope this makes sense )

I took some liberties here as I used some lines from her song such as "He's just a man "
--------------------------------------------------

When you sang your song
About standing ,.......Standing by your man
Did you mean what went wrong
When you sang about this man

They treated you unfairly
Was it because you weren't a man
I really didn't get it but
But then again I am just a man

It only took you 30 minutes
To write your song
No-one would realise
It would take 30 years to defend
Takes me minutes to sing your song
But a life time to understand

I feel I am in the minority
For I try to understand
What was it like to sing
To sing about that man

Did he ever say he was sorry
And would you forgive and understand
Iknow what I would do
But then again I m
Just a man

Iknow what I would do
But then again I m
Just a man

--------------------------------------------

I am a little bit happy about this in my head
( must get better at playing so I could record it the way it is my head )

Anyway hope it makes sense Please feed back always welcome and if there is something in there that just does not gel for you please by all means , drop a line and mention it ..

Thank you for your time

Trevor

Hey Trevor, Im liking this song. I think “Just a Man” would be an apt title.
I think the repeated “Standing ..” is good no problems there at all but I think that I would change the last line and not repeat the “sang” .
When you sang your song
About standing ,.......Standing by your man
Did you mean what went wrong
When you spoke about this man

I think you've done well here, good for you for experimenting with word repetition. Without hearing it, Im flying blind here
It only took you 30 minutes
To write your song
No-one would realise
It would take 30 years to defend
Takes me minutes to sing your song
But a life time to understand
Im trying to get the meter right on this one, but Im having a little bit of trouble, maybe a little tweak below:
It only took you 30 minutes
To write your song
No-one would realise
It would take you 30 years to defend
And me just minutes to sing
But a life time to understand

Overall this is good Trevor, well done mate

Paul

Thanks for the feed back Paul

The meter problem and I think I know what you mean ..

Try taking a 4 beat break between those lines
( hey did I just say something musical then :?: :oops: )

As the lyrics are not very long
( the way I would say it , " Its' not very wordy )

but that would show my ignorance to the English language ...

I am glad it reads fairly well for someone else as well ..

After reading your Tweeks , I don't know about useing spoke as I am trying to capture the essence of her song and I didn't think she spoke in her song .
But I could be wrong here and as far as making it more fluent to the reader / listener ( maybe a Friday session ) ..

Once again thanks for the in put appreciated

Trevor

Hi Trevor,

I've been meaning to get back to this song but got involved in
another little project. (You know which one :lol: )

I Think I have to agree with Paul somewhat:
Hey Trevor, Im liking this song. I think “Just a Man” would be an apt title.
I think the repeated “Standing ..” is good no problems there at all but I think that I would change the last line and not repeat the “sang” .

Only I would suggest changing the first line:
When you wrote your song
About standing ,.......Standing by your man
Did you mean what went wrong
When you sang about this man

The repeated "man" in the next verse has about the same effect
on me although I don't have a exact suggestion.

They treated you unfairly
(Maybe something about a fan or fans)
I really didn't get it but
But then again I am just a man

Just a thought about music for this. If you could figure out a way
to quote the hook from SBYM in thje first verse that would be
interesting.

Not the lyrics just those four little notes that go with them.

Good Job Overall

John

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I don't know mate

It just sounded funny when I wrote thanks John and Paul ,

It just needed Ringo and George ( BTW my dog is called George but not named after that wonderful musician ..

Glad you like the re-write John

btw I am digging around trying to find a copy of Stand by your man to try and understand that hook you mentioned John

Trevor

Thanks John ,

With your reply and Pauls and re-reading this thread a few times over I think i have fixed it up to what the 2 of you were saying ,,
( appreciate the feed back )

Just A Man

v/1
When you wrote your song
About standing ,.......Standing by your man
Did you mean what went wrong
When you sang about this man

v/2
They treated you unfairly
By the radio and the fans
I really didn't get it but
But then I am just a man

chorus
It only took you 30 minutes
To write your little song
How could you realise
It would take 30 years to defend

bridge
Takes me only minutes
To sing your little song
But it will take the world a life time
For everyone to understand

v/3
I feel I am in the minority
For I try to understand
What was it like to sing
To sing about that man

v/4
Did he ever say he was sorry
And would you forgive and understand
Iknow what I would do
But then again I m
I'm just a man

outro
For Iam
Just a man
Just a man

++++++++++++++++

To me it does flow a tad batter now , and by adding the radio and fan line ( like John mentioned ) I think it gives it a bit more insight to her struggle
Thanks again
Paul & John ( might change my name to Ringo :lol: :lol: )

Nice rewrite
Paul & John ( might change my name to Ringo )

And who will be George :?:

John

Gday Mate,

Look at that you got me talking like an Aussie now.

I found this cover on SoundClick that's a nice rendition.

SBYM MP3 Link

The hook I'm talking about is where the chorus kicks in with
Stand By Your Man

Enjoy

John

Thanks John

She has got a terrific voice

cheers

Trevor