SSG10-Week42 Cold Water

I skipped reading and went straight to the rcording. Couldn't figure out what you were getting at till the end. Great plot twists are not just for Hitchcock and M.Night Shyamalan
:)

Couldn't figure out what you were getting at till the end. Great plot twists are not just for Hitchcock and M.Night Shyamalan
Great! then mission accomplished :P

I was having a bit of trouble getting focused this week. This was a joke my mom emailed me yesterday.

Other ideas I was trying were:

#1
Second Hand - like on a clock or spiritual presence, or something being used, or children getting in the way of the couple, or an affair

#2
Couch surfing- I just heard of the concept yesterday, but a couch could be the thing or focus of the song....and could make for interesting stories

James, you had some fun with this one. I know that your inspiration came from a joke, but my impression when I saw the title and again when I listened to the music was that the song "Cool Water" might have been an influence. Here's a link to that song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxAQwMNXlic

Very Americana-ish. Kinda reminds of a some of Greg Brown's songs, and the crowd I jam with here :) I generally like the way it flows, a few lead runs may augment. I am wondering about the "are these plates really clean?" hook. It's kind of awkward with the sung emphasis on "these" the first time and "really" the second time. I'm not a grammar expert but it seems the singers concern is with the plate with his food on it. Maybe something like "Is it clean?" and/or"Is this clean"? Maybe add some repetition. Took three listens to (I think) get the dog reference. Still not sure. Just my 2 cents worth of comments, use what helps. :D

James, you had some fun with this one.
Yes and no. I feel this type of "joke songs" are tricky to keep the listener's interest without giving away the punch line....but once they know the punch line....do they want to hear it again?.....maybe the market would be more for kids.....kids have a high tolerance for listening to the same material repeated.....I was surprised my own kids like this song a lot.

Regarding "Cool Water", I don't remember hearing it directly, but maybe Bugs Bunny singing it, or maybe on the TV. It reminds me of the kind of shows my parents would have on while we were growing up.......thanks for the link :wink:

I did have an idea that I could put a group of these songs together and call the album/cd "This song is a joke!" :P

Very Americana-ish. Kinda reminds of a some of Greg Brown's songs, and the crowd I jam with here :) I generally like the way it flows, a few lead runs may augment.
It seems to work to only have one aspect of the song be the focus; either the lyrics, beat, or music.....they all need to hold their own, but probably one should be the focus so as not to overload the listener...just a thought....then again, what guitarist turns down a chance to throw in a few lead runs? :wink:
I am wondering about the "are these plates really clean?" hook. It's kind of awkward with the sung emphasis on "these" the first time and "really" the second time. I'm not a grammar expert but it seems the singers concern is with the plate with his food on it. Maybe something like "Is it clean?" and/or"Is this clean"? Maybe add some repetition. Took three listens to (I think) get the dog reference. Still not sure. Just my 2 cents worth of comments, use what helps. :D
I'll think on this a bit to see if there might be some phrasing that helps the clarity of the message.....don't count on many revisions soon...... I'll be playing single parent for a while as my wife is out of the country visiting her mother (for possibly the last time as she, my mother-in-law, is in ICU with siroccos of the liver)

Thanks for the feedback on what worked and didn't for you. :D

James

Slight changes made****

:lol:

James thanks for that

Paul :D

:lol:
Thanks, Paul :wink:

thats really good james, haunting and funny is a hard one to pull off but i think youve done it man

Thanks, Ben :D