Suggestion: Consider focusing in on one feeling from the singer.....right now it seems a mix....the singer wants to be nice by adding the cigarette an...

thats really good james, haunting and funny is a hard one to pull off but i think youve done it man

I like the chord progression in the chorus it has a pretty intense build. might be an idea to try scream the 'and i feel bad' line just to see how it ...

thanks a million for the comments and the time! hope you enjoy listening to it and please offer any suggestions if you have them!cheers,Ben

Hi James!Thanks a million for the read and the comments. you're right the whole timeline of it is messy at the moment i'm going to have to nail down w...

Thats really lovely Vic nice one, i had the guitar in my hands after id read the first verse, started strumming away, the lyrics just sat right with m...

Hi!I think you have a strong start here, you've done a great job of painting the scene and describing things. there could be a very intense build up i...

Hi James,seems like you have a fantastic setting here, tons of details just waiting to be cornered and caught within your selected subject. youve alwa...

thanks for having a look guys.Yes David i might ask the gf to jump in one of these days, she's a lot better at the comedy end of things and i think my...