Hi Folks,
Thought I'd join in the fun here, although, having never written a song before, didn't want to miss out.
So here is my corny blues version of a story loosely based on Little Red Riding Hood.
Please feel free to send me constructive/abusive replies as you feel necessary - I can take it.
Think of Davids lesson on Kansas City for the music - a slow blues shuffle.
Little Red Blues
My Li'l  Red done gone and left me...
gone and left me feelin' blue.
Well Lil' Red done gone and left me...
...gone and left me feelin' blue.
It's a grim one brother...
....and I don't know what to do
She said those eyes of mine...
...ain't gonna see her soul no more.
Oh Granma, those eyes of mine...
...ain't gonna see her soul no more.
It's a grim one brother...
...and I'm feelin' kind o' sore.
She said that mouth of mine...
...ain't gonna kiss her lips no more.
Oh Granma, that mouth of mine...
...ain't gonna kiss her lips no more.
It's a grim one brother...
...and ma jaw hit the floor.
She said those ears of mine...
...ain't gonna hear her sweet voice no more.
Oh Granma, those ears of mine...
...ain't gonna hear her sweet voice no more.
It's a grim one brother...
...when she showed me the door.
She said that face of mine...
...don't belong hear no more.
Oh Granma, that face of mine...
...don't belong hear no more.
It's a grim one brother...
...she don't love me no more.
My Li'l  Red done gone and left me...
...gone and left me feelin' blue.
Well Li'l Red done gone and left me...
...gone and left me feelin' blue.
It's a grim one brother...
...and I don't know what to do.
Boomshanka
Man, if you are not writing music, with this kind of talent, you better start. What a great twist on this story.
Just one thing I would change. The line..she dont love me no more. I would use that in the first and last verse, and use the line ...and I dont know what to do, in the fifth verse. I think that would tie them together better. Just my opinion. The title is a great choice. Very well done.
Olav
Good stuff.
Didn't little red have a basket of sweet things and bread for grandma?
My Li'l Red done gone and left me...
...took her sweet things, left me blue.
Well Li'l Red done gone and left me...
...took her sweet things, left me blue
It's a grim one brother...
...and I don't know what to do.
Superb. Nuff said.
A :-)
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
Thanks for the feedback guys, really appreciate the encouragement.
Olav, I think I did have the lines round that way at one point - can't remember why I changed them. The other title I had in mind was the Lone Wolf Blues...lol.
Nick, couldn't remember the exact story (twas a long long time ago), but it could have gone on and on and on.... Thanks for the extra verse.
Terrific ..... makes me want to change my style to blues !!!!!
go well
Jamir ;)
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
Simply great!
He not busy being born is busy dying. - Bob Dylan (It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding)
Awesome!
Thanks for the kind words folks.... :)
