Sorry to bring the mood back down after some wonderfully optimistic work. And I had the best intentions really. I had a week off, so I went down to the coast, from the middle of the desert, and you'd think that would be a cause for optimism and some nice beach seens. And while it was great fun, (saw Muse, man they rock) the first morning I was sitting over looking the beach, as it rained, damn my luck… oh and there was a pier too…
The Pier
‘Come and walk along the pier
Please, come and walk along the pier'
But she shakes here head and falls behind
‘The waves are all I'll let break here'
She turns and escapes off down the beach
Through the seashells and the flotsam
And just out of reach of the breaking waves
The seems as desperate to touch her as I am
And though the words were unspoken,
They were just as violently felt.
Who was the fool who said there'd be healing
In this stinging salt…
Alone I walk along the pier
Over the worn, warped wood
To cast out the ashes of our love
As the pier groans underfoot
And though the words were unspoken,
They were just as violently felt.
Who was the fool who said there'd be healing
In this stinging salt…
‘Come and walk along the pier
Please, come and walk along the pier'
But she shakes here head and falls behind
‘The waves are all I'll let break here'
And though the words were unspoken,
They were just as violently felt.
Who was the fool who said there'd be healing
In this stinging salt…
currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!
Ok sozay... I like the way you say things. I've decided that. And I think I know what this song is about. But unfortunately I don't get much from it. I don't identify with your character and I think if I did I would feel a lot better about the song... and a lot dirtier after reading it. But perhaps Im reading it too dark. Anyway.. Don't know if I'm making sense.
But like I said.. I like the way you say things. And your chorus has the makings of a decent hook. Good work. I'd just like to feel more in the shoes of the storyteller next time.
-marv
Andrew Delaney & The Horse You Rode In On ---> http://www.myspace.com/andrewdelaney
You can and should buy my album "Scoundrels!" in mp3 format on amazon.com or iTunes etc...
... sorry i took my reply down... it kind of gave the game away... thought it might just be a better idea to see what other people have to say first.
currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!
Ooh I feel cold all of a sudden. There really is a dark undercurrent to this song isn't there. It's a bit difficult to be sure though. It could be a simple piece about a relationship ending but really it feels much more menacing. I'd like to see some kind of resolution - has she just escaped from a murderous end? I am intrigued but I like it.
Beren
I'm one too many mornings and a thousand miles behind
Sozay
I really like this, and that I don’t know the ending
or what really happen makes it even more intriguing.
It makes my mind just go of into its own conclusions
of what really took place, or will take place
Your imagery in the verses are incredible powerful. Love that part.
I do wonder about the music for this though, what do you have in mind? Would love to hear it someday.
Blessings. Olav
Dark? Dirty? I must admit i was suprised to read peoples reactions, but can see exactly what you mean. seems there is a dirty seedy person inside trying to get out :P
Sadly, it was only a simple piece about a relationship ending... the thing she didnt want to break on the the pier (line 4) was his heart... not anything of hers, as i think some of you took it...
However i think i will try to refine it a bit to take it down the road you all have suggested. would be something a bit different that what i normally write.
I had written this verse to add to the 'break-up' version
She once said ‘The ways in which I love you
Are more numerous than the grains of sand'
But in truth she loved me like the tide
That came then went again
However for the seedy version
Turbulent and dark
Stare into the ocean, heaving
It has many secrets of its own
And some it aids me keeping
Those aside it still needs a bit of work, thank you all for your comments!
sozay
currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!
