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SSG2 - week 51 - Captain Hero

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scratchmonkey
(@scratchmonkey)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 603
Topic starter  

This was fun.

Captain Hero

I read of your adventures
every other month or so.
How you vanquish all the bad guys
with your magic golden bow.
And your shield of radiant power,
protects you from their snares.
Don't know why they'd stand against you,
don't know why they'd even dare.

[chorus]
Captain Hero,
I'm writing you today,
sending you the box-tops
off my sugar frosted flakes,
please send a decoder ring,
and a badge all shiny-bright,
that says I'm a defender,
of all that's good and right.

I remember when you battled
the minions of Doc Fear.
And how you held them captive
'til the authorities were near.
When the cops were on the scene,
you were nowhere to be found,
anonymously saving,
another village, burg, or town.

[chorus]
Captain Hero,
I'm writing you today,
sending you the box-tops
off my sugar frosted flakes,
please send a decoder ring,
and a badge all shiny-bright,
that says I'm a defender,
of all that's good and right.

I remember how you fought off
the armies of the sun.
Everybody seemed to think
that you were finally done.
But I was with you all the way,
I knew they couldn't win.
It'd take more than ...
[stop the music and rattle this off fairly quick ]
radiation-blast-generated-solar-flare-powered-nuclear-blast-particle-ionized-mutated troopers...
[back to music]
to do you in.

[chorus]
Captain Hero,
I'm writing you today,
sending you the box-tops
off my sugar frosted flakes,
please send a decoder ring,
and a badge all shiny-bright,
that says I'm a defender,
of all that's good and right.

-- Scratch 8)

crap. just went back and read the assignment again, and noticed I totally blew off the "long lost someone" aspect. I'm going to start writing these assignments down in my notebook, so it's right there when I'm working on it, instead of going from memory, which only seems to become more and more leaky of late. Hope you like it anyways.

-- Scratch 8)


"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42


   
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Spadge
(@spadge)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 89
 

Scratch this is by far the best thing I have reas of yours so far.

I totally get the song, as I have been there and done that.

This is both funny and instantly you can see the young lads face as he sticks his tongue outwriting furiously to his boyhood hero.

Yeah your right about not fitting the long lost someone aspect of this assignment, but it reads like a letter, its really good, and deserves to be seen.

Sorry I have no criticism, as apparently thats the only reason to reply to ppl.

Find all you need in your mind, If you take the time


   
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geoffrey
(@geoffrey)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 85
 

this seems to speak directly to me as a comic book lover.. though i haven't heard of Captain Hero. i could totally see myself singing along to this song with pride, but be forwarned.. the lightheartedness of this song might rub a listener the wrong way. it definatley speaks to one audience and excludes everyone else. but since it speaks to me.. YEAAAAA!!!

to listen to my songs for SSC click here http://www.myspace.com/impossibleobjects


   
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Nick Torres
(@nicktorres)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 5381
 

30,000 points for fitting in anonymously.

It's really good. The chorus is brilliant.

I don't think you need to change a thing......but....(you knew it was coming didn't you) if you wanted to try something for kicks, try picking new glorious, comic book words for "battle", or "held them captive" and "fought off".

Really fine work, good meter, good story, excellent flow from beginning to end.


   
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CheapThrill
(@cheapthrill)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 224
 

hey scratch,

great, wonderful song. i always right down the assigment in my notebook so that i can look back at it and remember everything about it.

so what do you think, your too good to stick to the assigment? this is two weeks in a row now. come on scratch, get with the program here. gotta give you shit :wink: since that seems to be the only real negative thing i can see from this song.

it was very fun to read, and it flows great. you did get it half right and wrote the song like a letter, which seems to be the harder part for most people to master. i do like nick's suggestion to use more "batman" words or comic book words. you are writting from a kids point of view so they are going to use more of those kind of words. captive, battle, and fought seem to be words that wouldn't be in a little kids vocab.

good job. enjoyed the song throughoughly.

-CheapThrill


   
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scratchmonkey
(@scratchmonkey)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 603
Topic starter  

so what do you think, your too good to stick to the assigment? this is two weeks in a row now Quite the contrary, most of the time, I don't think I'm anywhere near being on par with most of our little community here. (and technically, it's three weeks.) Although I still say last week's fit the assignment, but I'll defer to the consensus. :wink:
30,000 points for fitting in anonymously.Dang, Nick, that's a lot of points!! I'd have thought "minions" would've scored higher. Unless we're going by syllables. :lol:
....but....(you knew it was coming didn't you) Of course... And I will try that.
.. though i haven't heard of Captain HeroI made him up. I started with "Sky Captain" but since there's a movie out right now by that title, I changed it to "Captain Hero", so as to come up with something that was more generic. But honestly, I'm not that fond of the name. But I am tickled that you liked the song, since you and I typically have vastly different styles.

Spadge, ... thanks for the kudos. I'm sure that you'll be able to find criticisms in future works. When I'm writing a critique, that's always the hardest part to write. :)

-- Scratch 8)


"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42


   
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Heelsy
(@heelsy)
Trusted Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 36
 

Great writing..

I love this part..
It'd take more than ...
[stop the music and rattle this off fairly quick ]
radiation-blast-generated-solar-flare-powered-nuclear-blast-particle-ionized-mutated troopers...
[back to music]
to do you in

theres just one more thing left to say..

To Infinity and Beyond!

If Practice makes perfect & nobody is perfect.. Why practice?


   
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straycat.
(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 1282
 

:lol: lot of fun reading

I love the 3rd verse and especially the part heelsey mentioned...did you try to say it so fast it fits? seems like one would need some attempts to get it right;)))

as for the 'lost one' of the assignment...was this a must? I read it as an example, a little help maybe...so your song fits for me:) and it did so last week :wink:

bluenightangel

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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Vic Lewis VL
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Spadge said.......

This is both funny and instantly you can see the young lads face as he sticks his tongue outwriting furiously to his boyhood hero.

That's exactly the same mental image I got......

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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Celt
 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

Scratch.

Like everyone else I really like this song. As far as being off subject , I took it to be somewhat about the lost innocence of childhood. Maybe that's just me. It did bring back memories though. I bet some of those "decoder rings " would fetch a pretty on EBay.

Celt

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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smokindog
(@smokindog)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 5345
 

Perfect :!: :!: :D :D :D Its a ten. I,m still laughing at the spoken line :lol: :lol: This very much reminds me of the cartoons we wached back in the 50's and 60,s on saterday morning.---the dog

My Youtube Page
http://www.youtube.com/user/smokindog
http://www.soundclick.com/smokindogandthebluezers

http://www.soundclick.com/guitarforumjams


   
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sunsetN!nja
(@sunsetncnja)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 40
 

Another great song here. I was thinking along the same lines as The Celt about how the "long lost somebody" was the hero because as we grow up we tend to lose our heroes or at least our perception of them. How "growing up" isn't necessarily all good because of what you end up leaving behind.


   
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