(title? anyone?)
Every photo I've ever taken,
That has a person inside,
Has bred nothing but regret
In the recesses of my mind.
So now I no longer take photos,
Designed to save memories.
It just doesn't seem worth the trouble,
When every click becomes a disease.
But here I find myself looking at you,
In a photo that looks deep into me.
And here I find, when I look at you,
That regrets are replaced with dreams.
It's nothing complicated,
Just an early morning scene.
A park bench and a soul,
Tied for eternity.
Every photo I've ever taken's
Nothing more than a snapshot in time.
Never have a thing to say,
Never help me to see where I'm blind.
And yet this photo I'm holding's
A microcosm of the course of my life.
It tells of all I have done,
All I'm doing and all that I might.
So here I find myself looking at you,
With a smile that says thousands of words.
And here I find when I look at you,
That all is alright with the world.
It's nothing complicated,
Just framing our favourite place.
A park bench and two souls,
One eternal embrace.
Dissapointingly I missed Week 1, but I've got his week's in early (ish). Any comments of any kind more than welcome.
Cheers, G
Listen Louder Than You Play
8) 8) nice song, for the most part it flows nice and the story progresses nicely. :D :D It has a wonderfull ending, I almost got a bit choked up over the last verse :lol: :lol: I think this a good solid song!!--the dog
How about ONE ETERNAL EMBRACE for a title, That is a good desciption of a photogragh :D :D , btw the more i read this song the more i like it :D :D -the dog
I like this but....and it's only a little but....can you give us some idea of structur4e?
Don't know about anyone else, but I like to know about verse/chorus/bridge etc.....
Having a really hard time fitting any kind of rhythm to this....
But nice lyrics all the same....
Vic
:) :) :)
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
I second Vic's observations. The lyrics are nice, but some idea of structure / meter would be helpful. I always label my sections (v1, v2, chorus, etc...) not because I think people couldn't figure it out, but just so I'll remember when I go back to it! :?
-- Scratch 8)
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
Yeah, sorry all - I'll try and put it down in a more sensible format:
v1
Every photo I've ever taken,
That has a person inside,
Has bred nothing but regret in the recesses of my mind.
v2
So now I no longer take photos,
Designed to save memories.
It just doesn't seem worth the trouble when every click becomes a disease.
Br1
But here I find myself looking at you in a photo that looks deep into me.
And here I find, when I look at you,
That regrets are replaced with dreams.
Ch1
It's nothing complicated,
Just an early morning scene.
A park bench and a soul,
Tied for eternity.
v3
Every photo I've ever taken's nothing more than a snapshot in time.
Never have a thing to say, never help me to see where I'm blind.
v4
And yet this photo I'm holding's a microcosm of the course of my life.
It tells of all I have done, all I'm doing and all that I might.
Br1
So here I find myself looking at you with a smile that says thousands of words.
And here I find when I look at you
That all is alright with the world.
Ch2/Outro
It's nothing complicated,
Just framing our favourite place.
A park bench and two souls,
One eternal embrace.
As far as the rhythm of the words go, you have to cram some stuff in. It works fine with the music I have for the verses (don't really have anything I like for the rest yet)! If you can be bothered, read it a couple of times and it should hopefully slot into place.
dog - I guess 'One Eternal Embrace' could work - it's just I feel like that is slightly giving the point of the song away, from the beginning. Maybe that doesn't matter, but it shall certainly be known as that unless I think of something better (unlikely).
Cheers all,
G
Listen Louder Than You Play
Nice one - now I have some idea of how it goes, I can get into the song ...
Reads well, nice flow, good lyrics and mental images...I can visualise the photograph....
:) :) :)
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi'a
Well I really like this one... there was only one line that sounded ,I don't know what, but out of place,
Designed to save memories
Other than that I really liked it, very good imagery
Go well
Ja'mir
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
Hi GJ
Very good song. A wonderful bit of storytelling.
Everything about this song just works well - I realy like it.
Great stuff
Bob :)
You are what you eat, eat well
