My sister was talking about a church that want's to see your pay stub before you join...
Also, I made a thread in the Coffee House forum, that asked about "chorus/chorus/chorus/chorus" songs.
LOL...and here's the result...
Shortchanged
© Copyright 2005 NEZTOK
Shortchanged, Shortchanged
They passed the plate and I gave him some.
Estranged, Estranged
They passed the plate and he gave me none.
Shortchanged, Shortchanged
They passed the plate and I gave him some.
Estranged, Estranged
They passed the plate and he gave me none.
The first thing that he asked...
How could you get any cheaper?
I'm sure it feels like trash...
...being rejected by the preacher!
Shortchanged, Shortchanged
They passed the plate and I gave him some.
Estranged, Estranged
They passed the plate and he gave me none.
Shortchanged, Shortchanged.
They passed the plate and I gave him some.
Estranged, Estranged
They passed the plate and he gave me none.
The first thing that he asked...
How could you get any cheaper?
I'm sure it feels like trash...
...being rejected by the gate keeper!
Shortchanged, Shortchanged
They passeth the plate and I gaveth him some.
Estranged, Estranged
They passeth the plate and he gaveth me none.
Shortchanged, Shortchanged
They passeth the plate and I gaveth him some.
Estranged, Estranged
They passeth the plate and he gaveth me none.
Shortchanged, Shortchanged
They passeth the plate and I gaveth him some.
Estranged, Estranged
They passeth the plate and he gaveth me none.
infinity.........................
Thank God,
for copy & paste!
<evil laugh>ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha</evil laugh>
To the point and it's very catchy. I might have gone with "deranged" instead of "estranged" or perhaps even paired the two. I like it and I have two questions:
Any ideas about the music to go with it?
Any particular reason for changing "passed" to "passeth" towards the end? I liked that you did, by the way.
Peace
I might have gone with "deranged" instead of "estranged" or perhaps even paired the two.
Trust me, it was on the tip of my tongue...
This morning I crawled out of bed and I had this "kind of evil" silly melody in my head. It didn't make sense (maybe by the end of the week,) but what do I care, so I wrote it down...
5 minutes later, I posted it...
It turns out - it's pretty much the melody to Hey, ho, Nobody Home (but different.) LOL...
except for:
The first thing that he asked...
How could you get any cheaper?
I'm sure it feels like trash...
...being rejected by the gate keeper!
Any particular reason for changing "passed" to "passeth" towards the end? I liked that you did, by the way.
...natural progression. It just sorta happened.
:wink:
Any particular reason for changing "passed" to "passeth" towards the end? I liked that you did, by the way.
I took it to mean that he's passed on to the other side now, and that how they speak there, a kind of biblical sort of way. Yeah I liked that transition as well. Hey NEZTOK this is quite a quirky kind of song, but Ive gotta say that I do like it, well done.
cheers
pbee
Gets the point across nicely, I can see this very heavy on acoustic guitars, a real fun clap-along kind of song with loads of backing vocals, maybe in gospel voices to highlight the irony, with tambourines.....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
NEZTOK,
maybe in gospel voices to highlight the irony, with tambourines.....
I think Vic may be on to something here.
Good Song
John
hey neztok
I really like this. I'd go with "estranged", it sounds better to me;)
that part reminded me a tiny little bit of Nirvana(hope you're not offended now, it's meant as a compliment... just like I can hear Kurt sing this)
and I also am very fond of the change to "passeth" and so on, for I dig these "old" words like "thou" "shalt(h?)" and such :D it's always nice to be able to use that. :wink:
great song
cheers,
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
...that part reminded me a tiny little bit of Nirvana(hope you're not offended now, it's meant as a compliment)
Offended? Nope, not me...
