Its been a while since posted anything here. Hopefully Ill get back into it.
Waiting for the Messenger
v1
A week into the mission second day in this hole
its been three months since Ive heard from back home
Still I wait Awake Waiting for the messenger
All I know about this person is the bag they carry
Thats enough information needed to prepare me
Lord I hope Oh Lord That its not a child
Ill kill the messenger but it wont end the war
Once I report back Ill receive orders for more
If I live Ill report I cant let them find me
chorus
Motionless I lay but I do not sleep
I talk to God while closer darkness creeps
My wife knows Im a sniper she dont like it but she knows
I want her to see me again not just a box sent back home
v2
With open eyes I dream of when I was a child
If I can without beeing seen Ill sneak a smile
Cant believe Never How am I able to do this
My wife lives with her mom no children yet
Back home they pray still I do not fear death
Dont know why Nothing I have so much to lose
Im so hungry and tired I cant even picture her face
I know shes beautiful but my memory's been erased
I still know Can she At least she has a picture to hold
chorus
Motionless I lay but I do not sleep
I talk to God while closer darkness creeps
My wife knows Im a sniper she dont like it but she knows
I want her to see me again not just a box sent back home
bridge
Whats this Its the bag Its a man Good
In the ear Alignment Breathe out
Pause Squeeze Yeah Im good
Chorus
Motionless I lay but I do not sleep
I talk to God while closer darkness creeps
My wife knows Im a sniper she dont like it but she knows
I want her to see me again not just a box sent back home
I know its dark but it IS a solo profession. Let me know what you think.
rbert,
very interesting take on the assignment! and its well written to boot!
fave lines
'i hope its not a child'
and the whole bridge, that was pretty cool.
nice work
sozay
currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!
Hey Rbert,
I'd agree with Sozay. And I also think it's well written, but there are a few lines that throw me.
Cant believe Never How am I able to do this
Dont know why Nothing I have so much to lose
I still know Can she At least she has a picture to hold
All these lines seem quite awkward to me. Otherwise, though, it's really quite good.
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
Thanks for the thumbs up,
To answer your question Scratch, when I typed those lines I put a few spaces in between the phrases. They could actually be separate lines. It would make more sense than having them all jammed together. If youll notice there are similar lines at the end of every "sub-verse" to fit a repetitve musical format. They are simply the thoughts of the man, intended to be spoken when performed.
thanks again
rbert
Hi'a Rbert 101
Well an interesting read, but I would say very difficult to sing , there are a few lines I found connfusing which put me of pace but I will go through it again,
Go well
Ja'mir
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
