(music fades in from whispers, chimes,and finally a heavy breath/sigh and the lyrics start)
Depth is my step
your call finds my home
where I have lept
There I find no phone
*(whispers) My bottle spins the sand no words are dry
Shadows darker than the love I cast
My past greets me as a Chessir cat
I don't know why
*(whispers) My bottle spins the sand words do not cry
Your senses lift my soul
baring no lie
its shifts burn like coal
*(whispers) My bottle spins the sand eventually we will die
Stretching to tomorrow
I clasp my sorrow
to burn away this moment
leaving only your choices
of faded fates
*(whispers) Our bottle spits the sand eventually we fly high
Just some lyrics on the "sands of time" and what we may do with our daily choices makes us what we are right now.
Hi'a Sigil,
Welcome to SSG
Well.............. what can i say. this is way to deep and profound for me. I honestly didn't really understand what you are getting at.
I am not sure many people would pick up on the meanings if singing this out. Very interesting reading though
Go well
Ja'mir
:wink:
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
Greetings Sigil,
I have to second Jamir's comments. I don't think I get it. Your explanation at the end helps a bit, but I'm still somewhat stymied when I read through the lyrics.
I look forward to reading more of your work, though.
Just my $0.02.
-- Scratch
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
well, I'm not much of a song writer (i compose/design music better) , too deep eh? :? probably is more confusing than deep lol
Well thats why i am posting here, to improve this mess ! :P
Nick has one great item in his section on song writing.... ( actually he has a lot but this is my personal favorite ) If you have to explain it, re write it
this is my take on what you have ok.
Deep is my step as your call finds my home
where I have slept ?, I can find no phone
My bottle spins on sand which is dry
Shadows darker than love, I don't know why
Stretching to tomorrow I clasp my sorrow
to burn away this moment I had to borrow
My bottle spins the silent words do not cry
Shadows darker than love, still I don't know why
As my bottle spins eventually we will die
As my bottle spins eventually we fly high
This still has little meaning for me, I must admit, but it works out meter wize, and as it rolls of the tongue easier would be easier to put to a melody, wait for Scratch or Marv to comment they always comes up with wonderful stuff.
Go well
Ja'mir
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
Nice revision. Well I forgot to mention that "Our Glass" is a play on the word "Hour Glass" which contains the sands of time. As the bottle spins, time runs out, or there abouts.
Thank you very much for the comments. I usually think (hear) in terms of music composition. I am so in love with music in its natural state, I have difficulty putting words to them.
Thanks again! :idea:
Sigil is in creation mode
