week 47 "Hurricane lamp"

nice writing blue,
i liked both of these
That was the mission I gave the winds
Repeatedly they dared failing me
Hell, it can't be so hard to tear
A wallflower from its wall

great lines. seems to lose a it of structure towards the end though. and given we never have to worry about hurricanes here, i cant quite figure out how she is like a hurricane lamp? (thats mainly me being ignorant i think :P )

In the 2nd song, my only suggestion would be to have a lok at the line "I'd stop chasing shadows", only because the whole song contains imagery about a storm/cyclone, i think it would be a good to have another image relating to that to tie up the end of the song... if that makes any sense...

anyways, great writing!
sozay

hi sozay:)

I'm glad you like it(I feel like I'm sinking down a level every week again while the others who post here go up another level :wink: )
given we never have to worry about hurricanes here, i cant quite figure out how she is like a hurricane lamp? we have no hurricanes over here either :wink: it was just supposed to be like 'I've tried to catch her, intimitade her, screw her up(maybe make her mine) but it never worked because she's a strong one(not a wallflower at all...) and won't be giving in(won't waver)=>she's a hurricane lamp'
:))

you're right about the 'chasing shadows' in the second song...bothered me, too...couldn't find something better yet...what are these things called that are often shown in a desert scene in movies or in snoopy comics ? they're round and look like they're dusty tangles of wood and dirt...don't even know the german word for it :? anyway would that fit the song better?

thanks:)
bluenightangel

what are these things called that are often shown in a desert scene in movies or in snoopy comics ? they're round and look like they're dusty tangles of wood and dirt..
tumbleweeds. they're actually a type of shrub, that dries up and gets brittle. Eventually, the wind breaks it off at the base, and they roll all over the place, collecting against fences and such.

You're too critical of yourself bnangel, You're improving every week as well. These lines are brilliant:

it can't be so hard to tear
A wallflower from its wall

Kind of thing I wish I'd written.

Hurricane lamp is quite good. It's one of those songs that it takes me a couple reads to get, but your stuff is always like that, and that's not a bad thing. Many of my favorite artists are ones I have to really concentrate on to understand. There's one level of music that makes a decent enough background sound by which you can do other things more pleasantly. There's another level that requires the listener to drop everything else and really concentrate on what's being said, and how, and why. I think that's where a lot of your stuff falls.

Haven't read cyclone yet, but I will.

-- Scratch 8)

I'm definitely with Scratchmonkey on this one.......your lyrics are very deep and take a few reads to absorb......I can always recognise your style instantly.......

Of the two songs, I think I just prefer "Hurricane lamp".......I particularly like the way you throw in lines like

"Nay, these idiots!
Do it yourself if you really want it done"

as a kind of after-thought/aside........yet it's essential to keep the song moving.....

"Cyclonic Chaser" on the other hand, seems like you had too many ideas floating around for one song, it seems to me to be an extension - a "part 2" ,if you like, to "Hurricane Lamp......"

I probably haven't got it yet, I'll have to have another look.......!!!!

:) :) :)

Vic

thanks scratch!....hm...tumbleweed...

'I'd stop chasing tumbleweeds
Wouldn't that be sublime?' ?? :roll: ??

hey scratch... :D ...thank you very much...I'm flattered

hi vic:)
seems to me to be an extension - a "part 2" ,if you like, to "Hurricane Lamp......" yeah as I said they were one song once;))

glad you like the 'nay, these idiots!' part...love expressions like this...always wanted to use some of them but it seldom fits in my songs...;)

thanks again
bluenightangel