Hi ,
Didn't have much of a chance to critique this week sorry. Also didn't really get very inspired in my writing. Somehow I did come up with these
two songs that I am not too proud of but will post anyway. All comments are welcome.
The Rainmaker
They say there's always calm
Just befofe the storm
I had no way of knowing
Our life seemed safe and warm
They say it's best to be prepared
For the thief that comes at night
Thought I'd found my shelter
My beacon and my light
Then
The Rainmaker came
And took away my sun
The Rainmaker came
I thought you were the one
The Rainmaker came
And took my starry sky
The Rainmaker came
Was all we had a lie?
They say in every cloud
Some sillver can be found
That when the storm approaches
I should seek out higher ground
When in the eastern sky
The morning sun I see
It's warmth can not erase
The painful memory
Of when
The Rainmaker came
And took away my sun
The Rainmaker came
I thought you were the one
The Rainmaker came
And took my starry sky
The Rainmaker came
Was all we had a lie?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Texas Storm
Stevie knew he couldn't stand the weather
when he sang about that texas flood
Hey now take a look at little sister
She feels his fire burnin' in her blood
Like a storm coming out of Texas
Lightin' flashing on an August night
And I tell you that the sky was crying
When we heard of that fateful flight
Well he took us to Tin Pan Alley
Oh those things he used to do
He'd tell you if the house was rockin'
Just come on in and play some Blues
Like a storm comin' out of Texas
He could cut just like a crosscut saw
And I hear that night in Alpine Valley
he left them all in awe
Celt
The Rainmaker I liked straight off.....
Two little things, the very first line feels like it's missing the word "calm" from the end and maybe "approaches" would be better than "encroaches"....it's a good word, but doesn't quite seem to blend in...
Nice rhythm, nice length........I can see it done in a sort of ZZ Top up-tempo blues sort of way.......
As for Texas Storm, I'm guessing here, is it about Stevie Ray Vaughan? I really know so little about the man, his music and his life, I just don't feel qualified to pass judgement....... although the rhyme feels good, I don't quite get the significance of the lyrics,....so maybe I'll have to pass this one over to someone less ignorant........!!!!
:) :) :)
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hey Celt!,
I hate to sound like a yes-man, but I swear, the very same things Vic mentioned, I thought of while reading through the first song, before I looked at Vic's comments. Add calm, maybe swap "approaches" for "encroaches". And... I like encroaches. I just think the other word might fit better. Otherwise, I really like that song.
The second one, about SRV, (I'm no less ignorant than Vic. I just use Google a lot) Is good. I like the similes you chose:
"Like a storm out of Texas"
"...cut like a crosscut saw"
"...lightning on an August night"
Everything in the song is good, but it seems somehow unfinished. Considering that it's about an artist who died prematurely, maybe that's a good way to leave it, I dunno. Definitely left me wanting more though.
-- Scratch 8)
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
Thanks Guys,
I really appreciate your input . The missing calm was a typo I'll edit and fix that . " Approaches " That was the word I was looking for. :lol: Thanks I'll fix that one too. The Rainmaker was pretty much a Muse driven song that came quite quickly. Except For that "encroaches" that was all me getting in the way. Texas Storm was more a work of researching SRV's
life, death, and song list to make sure the references were correct. And yes Scratch it is an unfinished piece that I'll will keep on file on hope to get back to someday. Unless Somebody can come up with and ending for cowriting credit. Vic I like your ZZ top suggestion seems like something to try. I usually write acoustic so it would be nice to do something in a more electric vein.
Thanks Again
Celt
hey celt,
nice work, like always. i really enjoyed reading the rainmaker better than texas storm. i would have never ever caught the srv reference.
The Rainmaker came
And took away my sun
The Rainmaker came
I thought you were the one
The Rainmaker came
And took my starry sky
The Rainmaker came
Was all we had a lie?i just love these lines. repeating that one line really adds to the effect.
it is nice to see yet another interesting take on the assignment. scratch and vic got in all the really good comments already. :( so not much left for me to say.
the second song i didn't connect with. maybe it wasn't knowing the reference. there is so nice imagery in it and a good flow.
-CheapThrill
Thanks Cheapthrill ,
You are always so kind. Sounds like GuitarNoise could use an article on the Life and Time of Stevie Ray Vaughan. OH I'll get myself in trouble with talk like that. :?
Celt
hey celt,
You are always so kind
your welcome. i can't help myself when it comes to your work; it is always so good. something about it just works for me. keep up the good work.
-CheapThrill
