Y3week42 attempt at being content

Hey Blue,

Well, I can't deny that it is repetitive, but I still like it. This is the type of song that hinges on the melody, and since you've got one you like, I'd love to hear it. I can see a happy bouncy song or a more ambient primarilly vocal piece.

I like the honesty too. It's not the over-the-top gushing of a standard love song. Good work.

Hi'a Blue,

Good reading, and I love the simplicity, you've come a long way girl !!!!!

Go well
Ja'mir

Bluenightangel,

Good Job!

I like that it's repetitive it gives the song a sense of desparation
and desire.

As for a title I would suggest you look outside the lyric.

My thought would to name it for the person it is sung to.

Something like;

For Jason or Micheal's Song

Sometimes you don't want to give away too much
in the title.

John

Hmm, yes, it's repetitive, it does work in a certain way, but it seems to me you took too much criticism to heart a couple of weeks ago, and you've tried to over-simplify....

There are some good lines here, but - like I told you then, and I'll tell you again now....be true to yourself, write for yourself, not other people... if you like your song, other people will....

Go back to doing what you do best Anne,(and you do it better than 99% of the people on this forum!) - I like those long, poetic, image-laden songs, they're not always easy to pick up on or understand, but that's half of their charm...you have to go back and read them again, just to make sure you get the right interpretation...and any song that you keep going back to, by definition, has to have something going for it...

I want the old (LOL) BNA back....

:D :D :D

Vic

hey.

glad someone liked it.
vic, don't be worried I write those long tangled things anyway, could never make myself really stop, I think(though I was insecure, I admit it). but you know, it happened before, some simple lines flowing out of me.... I didn't really force anything with this piece, it's just a small something I sorta like;) maybe you can relate to it better when listening to the demo I just put up on my soundclick page( http://www.soundclick.com/artist/2/whateverkeepsyouupatnight_music.htm ).
hope someone likes that, too:)
(is it how you imagined it, slowplay?)

oh and the title- for now it stayed "attempt...", working title maybe, I'll see. thank you, the celt, for your suggestion, but somehow I would not like to involve a name......I dunno

thanks everyone for your replies :D
cheers,
bluenightangel

Go back to doing what you do best Anne, I like those long, poetic, image-laden songs

I've got to disagree slightly. Please do write more songs in your classic style. They are a treat for us. However, do not be afraid to try simple, tightly structured songs either. (Maybe it helps to think of these songs as practicing scales?)

You're a good writer and that shows beyond the particular style you choose.

Hi Blue

Good and simple song. As long as you've got a melody that works with it it'll be fine.

As for the complex v simple debate - it doesn't actually matter. Vic has it right when he says write for yourself and Slowplay's encouragement to write outside your normal style is also worth heeding. If you can do them both you've more strings to your bow and you'll only continue to improve as Ja'mir says.

Good stuff - let's hear it.

Bob :)

let's hear it.
you can already(I put the link into my last reply to this thread, didn't I?, well, especially for you: http://www.soundclick.com/artist/2/whateverkeepsyouupatnight_music.htm ) please let me have a feedback(it's just a quick demo with the simplest(?) chords, but anyway...) :wink:

thanks for encouraging, no worries, I'll try both(almost never on purpose though).

cheers,
bluenightangel