Y5 W6 - Peace of Mind (With MP3)

Gidday

You have one of those feelings and I read it thinking to myself this is very good ..

The verses are terrific ...As for the rest of the I have some reservations just with how they will work { so I am saying nothing about them till I hear them ...I don't want to make myself look foolish }

One tiny suggestion ...

1st verse ..

But the voices in my head, say the past is better off dead

Does that work for you or is it a cultrual thing ......

Well done mate

I can't seem to get a song going yet ..

I played around with lyriccs such as
" When Dads Army beat the Wombals "
But then I thought to myself , thats' just not cricket :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Cheers
Trevor

Vic
So I started to do a couple of edits on some of the lines like: “I've got to get MOVIN', and leave the past behind”, and: “That's OUR FUTURE if I stay”. Then, I decided, you know what? This is just fine as it is. I liked it in the first read through. Yep, pretty good indeed. (note to self: walk the 8 miles to the nearest liquor store…..bring notepad…)

Olav

Now that I finally got my laundry going...

I definitely like this song alot. And it has me very tempted to tune my guitar back up a half step to here these chords. A lot of majors, so I am assuming you want this to be a brighter (tone and feeling) sounding song? I think that is appropriate, as your lyrics don't convey any sadness over having to move on (too me at least). Good, stuff can't wait here and read more!

Vic,

I can't wait to see where this one goes.

This is one of those I wish I had written it songs.

John

Vic

The MP3 is brilliant , nothing how I imagined the song at all ..

It reminds of someone I heard years ago ..can't remember who though mmmmm

Well done mate and it was nice to hear from you , the last night ( your time )

Well done this is a real top shelf one mate

Trevor

Well - glad you like it - did it all on the fly, there's three guitar tracks on there - acoustic, electric and bass - bit of a rush job, but I just had to get it done...

I'll try and re-record it later this week, but I seriously think the acoustic guitar track could go....

I dunno, I think I've got a good song here, but I think it needs a bit more of an arrangement.....

I'll keep working on it.....at least I don't have any more ceilings or walls to paint in the foreseeable future, that's got to be a bonus....

:D :D :D

Vic

Hey Vic,
I like this song but Im not going to let you get away scott free (puts his woolen socks on this time as polar blast southery hits the city and the temparature drops).

No good carrying on, When love has gone,
No good staying here, love has disappeared,

I think that the way you extend to "love" lyric in the chorus might be better if you used something like this.
No good carrying on, when you find that love has gone,
No good staying here, when love has disappeared,
I think that the extra words fit the meter better, just my humble opinion of course.

nice song, nice mp3

cheers

Paul

Thanks as always for input PBee.....there is a reason why the "when love...." lyric is drawn out like that.....originally, I envisaged the chorus as a kind of two-part harmony, something along these lines....

No good...............................................
............no good, stayng here, when love..............................
...........................................................love has disappeared,

first and third lines being one vocal part, second line a different vocal part....I know. it's a bit ambitious, especially given my, er, limited vocal range, and I'm not sure if it'll work at all.....I've even tried it as a three-part harmony, but that just got plain messy in a big hurry.....still, I'll keep working on it.....

:D :D :D

Vic

Sounds awesome. Gritty vocals too. And that's a compliment, I like gritty vocals.

Your solo kicked arse!

Awesome song, and yes, two part harmony would make this awesome! Grab a gal and experiment (with the harmony!)

I really liked the interesting chord changes in the verse. If it was my song I'd consider speeding it up. The lyrics are nice and punchy.

Maybe also look at cutting back a bit on the held out words at the end of lines that change notes. Mind instead of Mi-ind. Those are my thoughts, but make sure you keep it in your style.

well, I've got to say, I'm overwhelmed at the feedback to this one......I had a good feeling about it while I was recording it, I had a vague idea of the chords I was going to use, but when I recorded it....

I laid the acoustic track first, gave me a good idea of the timing....

Then the vocal.....

Bass-line came next, I didn't want it to be just the old root note with the odd fifth thrown in...I tried to drive the song along with the bass, there are a couple of places where I can see a couple of mistakes....

then I added the electric guitar....played part-chords, sort of palm-muted for the verses, a trick I learned off Wes Inman... you don't have to play every string on every song.....and went from rhythm to lead on the same track......

Now if I could just play drums........!!!!!

I'm still working on this, I'm thinking instead of electric and acoustic, I could just do this with two guitars....bass and electric....I PM'd DemoEtc, he seemed to think I should pan the acoustic guitar left and right - get some separation.....and a couple of other good tips, trouble is, with Audacity, any more than 3 tracks, things seem to get a bit fuzzy - guitars are distorted where you're playing clean......

I'm going to bed and I'll probably stay awake for hours thinking about this now.....

:D :D :D

Vic

Simply awesome Vic!

You are really getting somewhere with this one. Great memorable and original hook riff there on the guitar. And a good driving bass line.

As you can guess I like this a lot.

Rock on Vic :D :D :D

Chris

Vic said ...

" well, I've got to say, I'm overwhelmed at the feedback to this one......I had a good feeling about it while I was recording it, I had a vague idea of the chords I was going to use, but when I recorded it.... "

I have found around here one always surprised when others really do like what someone has entered as their submissions for the weekly assignment and I know myself it blows me away when it happens ..

only thing left to say Mr Lewis the bar you want get over so badly has just been lifted a tad higher , next assignment will be tougher to better ..

But hey thats only my mere poor ol opinion

This is very good right up there with the Neighbours song I would say
( and you know when ever I have had a beer or 6 I sing that one )

Cheers have a safe Chrissy if we don't speak till after then mate

Trevor