I can't believe I made it through today
If it keeps on like this I won't make it, no way
And I've got to hand it to my guitar
It's helped me make it this far
And I can't imagine a world without
The songs that help me work it out
Tomorrow will probably be just the same
My day at the desk will give me only pain
I'll sit and type and hardly say a word
The 9-5 life is utterly absurd
And I've got to hand it to my guitar
It's helped me make it this far
And I can't imagine a world without
The songs that help me work it out
Its just a little song. Let me know what you think. You can listen to my not-so-good recording at http://soundclick.com/share?songid=9433710
Welcome to GN! Hope you enjoy hanging around here. :D
Great voice - really warm and enjoyable to listen to. And good job on the song, too!
Listening to it this morning, I really like how it builds, but to me it sounds a littler short or unfinished. I hear these lines as a middle eight:
And I've got to hand it to my guitar
It's helped me make it this far
And I can't imagine a world without
The songs that help me work it out
And then I expect a chorus and maybe a change of chord progression for it, but it doesn't happen. The melody development up to this point is great, I just hear it going somewhere after that, and it doesn't. If you could develop this tune so it has a chorus (or even a brief instrumental section after those lines), I think it would sound a lot more finished.
But it's a great way to make your entrance to GN, and I hope to see you around these boards more often. Congrats on the job well done. :D
Hi geekman3232,
Great job on the mp3 both vocals and gtr. It really brought the lyrics to life for me. :D I agree with Scrybe that it seems a bit unfinished but the majority of it is there.....clear message of not liking work and enjoying music.
Suggestion: Consider adding a bit more resolution to the characters situation or insight as to why he will be content with a mundane 9-5 life...you already mention how music is his way to make it through the day....some options might be resolution to the drudge and escape like "Cheers"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvRGh2NEjSU&feature=related
.....right now it has a "sittin on the dock of the bay" feel as well which just might need some instrumental section or couple lines to finish it off.
Even as is, it's a great start. Thanks for sharing and welcome!
James
I haven't been around much lately but it's always nice to come back and find a new voice and talent. Your not so good recording is not so bad.
Love the refrain and I agree that you could fill out the song a bit more.
Welcome to the forum and look forward to more posts from you in the future.
Neil
Nice.
I'm going to keep listening because it reminds me of something...someone...
But of course, it's you...
Rock on!
D 8)
I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!
Welcome,
Very Nice Song!
I'm not sure it needs to be expanded on. As you said it's "a little song"
and there's nothing wrong with that.
Lately I become fond of "little songs".
Hope to hear more from you
:note1: :note1: :note1:
John
Sorry I am posting so long after all the replies (I just moved so was busy for a while), but thanks for the replies. :) After looking back at it, I agree that it could definitely use some resolution. Thanks for all the kind words. :)
