untiled

these are old but shity i need help making them into songs will you guys/girls help me? :oops:

*untiled 6*

my heart beats
when are body beats
you have swept me off my feet

i can not beileve
my heart is set a fire
i can not breath

when i look at you
i dont feel like a fool
when i am with you
i feel so cool

you are my everything
happyness and joy is all you bring
you share the same feeling

*darkness*

as darkness falls
you can hear the people balling
the weak and strong have fallen

the blood has been spilled
many have been killed
so many have been lost, who cared

all the people have gone
many have never seen dawn again

flesh have been burned
and a worlds torn
you only wear a crown of thorns

there is no more hope

*goodbye*

got to get away
far away
just for a day
but you wont obey

packed my bags
life is just a drag
my heart is to old and my body is fray
wont see the light of day

i walked this lonely road
all alone
not going to pick up a phone

wont look back
i am walking the tracks
never to look back

so say good bye
as i prepair to fly
i will never say good bye...

*untiled 7*

they say shit about you
because you arent cool
you play the fool

you want to be like them
you dont know where you come from
you only play dumb

you walk down the hall
as they push you into the walls
and your morale falls

your all alone
living in your invisable dome
all alone

*love is war*

a soul at war
is constanly torn
a bullet straight through my heart

she holding other hands
while she jam to another band
a bullet straight through my heart

she glances at you
as you act the fool
a bullet straight through my heart

it makes you mad when you see her with another dude
the way she actis kinda cruded
i wont be rude
a bullet stairght through my heart

a soul at war
is constanly torn
a bullet straight through mt heart

*Untiled #3*

as i sit here and think of you
so far away
i realize how much i am a fool
shouldnt have been turned away

but you feared it
i dont understand why
now my heart is a big dark pit

but i still have you on my mind
i was crazy for you
your not easy to find
now i am just a fool

but you flew away
like a dove
and i am afried
alls i need to hear was that one
magical phrase "i love you"

but you never did
so i say goodbye

*love=death*

you are all alone
no were to go
no more calls on the phone

you think of her
it makes you sick
but your not mad at her
you say you must have been thick

she justed used you
you hit your self in the head
your ego is bursed
and now you dread

you pick up your bed
and but it to your temple
sweat is boring from your head
time is ample

you yell goodbye
as you move your finger
they will remeber how you have died
as you pull the tringer

*you*

i look at your face
and i feel like an ace
we have no set pace

we spend the night togather
my heart feels light as a feather
but tough like leather

when i hold your hand
i think oh damn
i feel like the luckyest man

your my everything
your so beautiful
this is just not a fling

*the way*

i hope you feel the way i do
i get this funny feeling
other wise i would feel like a fool
its like a tingleling

when were togather
i forget my worry
my day gets better
in a hurry

every min we spend
your like wow
i know i have a true friend
i will never frown

*no home*

theres trouble at home
your father walked out
and your all alone
your parents fought

theres nothing but yelling
your fighting the urge
your stupid they always telling
you have no courge

you run away
you run faster
trying to get away
thinking how they called you a bastered

you cant go home
its getting dark
your all alone and no home...

*untiled #4*

i feel your pain
your sacafice isnt to small
and its not in vain
i wont let you fall

just hold my hand
and walk into the flames
i will be a man

it will be only burn for afew
squese my hand
as you walk through
as you think this life isnt grand

we scream
you fall to your knees
as she leans
she gives one last squees

as the fire goes out
you have lost an hope

*whisper*

i see you from across the room
so far over there
me ever talking to you looking gloom
talking to you is what i fear

able to hold your hand
your beautiey flys
but i cant only be albe to say o damn
as you walk by

only able to whisper your name
never able to say hey
so i can take my life in vain
as they lay me to my earthly grave

*die*

as the day and night culided
you look up at the sky
in the earthly sky
hoping you will die

to much hate here before we die
some have been fryed
others have just plannly died

so as you look to the sky
and you began to cry
hoping that you will die

yelling you have tryed
and so now you say good bye
hoping you will just die

so go now and look to the sky
as you lay dying
but dont cry

i have many more and they all ryhme but i need help turning them into songs :oops: :oops: :oops:

wow, do NOT standardize these songs, they are way too good for a templated songwriting style, if you have this musch creativity,(and you do), with a little perseverance you WILL be able to make songs out fo them, here's my tips

SPONTANEITY- Just pick up your axe, play a chord, and hum to it, look at your poetry while you do this. Do this whenever you start playing, you'll start to develop instincts that can not be taught. Everybody has a musical disposition, it just takes a lot of digging to unearth it, it's okay if everything you do sounds what you consider to be crappy(there's a good chance it isn't), just keep at it, and listen to what you're doing.

LISTEN-Always listen louder than you sing, always. Ti's sounds like it doesn't make much sense, but things are not black and white in songwriting, unless you want to spend a huge chunk of your life studying music theory(which I highly recommend to do anyways), most of your songwriting decisions will be straight from the gut.

DECIDING-Songwriting is hard, not because you have to know a lot, it's because you jhave to put yourself on the line, and be completely confident of every single choice you make.

Songwriting can be taught, but it must also be learned, you might have to defeat many demons within yourself in order to be able to really be proud of your songs, which is the most important thing. You have to trust yourself, no matter how good you are.

I think I need a tissue, I just wrote one hard song to write.

thanx dude for your help

no problem, I actually figured out a lot of things I was never able to put into words until that post

i think i have writers block now :( :(

you got great stuff, just put it to music

True love is true death

Are love will never end
Yeah right
You stab that knife farther in
As you say u love me

You have problems with my issues
Go get a tissue
Because your part of my issues

Every time we kiss
You leave a trace of acid
That burns away my heart

I feel so numb
Yeah
My eyes are locked, on you
I can't move

I thrive for one more kiss
As the poison eats away at my heart

its my newest one!! :D

tell me what u think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You must have some kind of idea where you want to go with all these - usually when I'm writing something I have some kind of melody in mind or some sort of riff in mind and it's sort of tampering with the words till they fit the melody or the other way round.

What kind of music do you want to play?

These songs could be anything from poignant, angst-soaked ballads to thrash metal rants........you haven't actually said what sort of stuff you like/play.

Do you sing? If so, what sort of voice have you got?

Tailor the songs to fit your voice - they're your songs, you're the one who must decide how they are going to be done.

As they stand, the songs are raw, angry and bleeding all over the forum....I can understand your frustration, you need to channel that frustration/aggression/angst into something constructive.

You have some very promising stuff here - you have a talent, don't waste it - work at it, record yourself playing and singing, and then LISTEN!!!!

Then work out where you want to go next........

You have to develope a style, you have a distinctive song-writing style already.......there's plenty of energy there, you just need to focus it!!!

I wish you all the best.......

:) :) :)

Painless love
As walls of echoless screaming arise
And all hope dies
The flames brunt out in your eyes
Her love for you has long since faded
This one life tatted

You not loving me
And now that's what's killing you
But my broken heart won't set you free
You're going to meet your doom
Now what you've done your deed

I want to smother you with me
I am sorry that this love is painful
You say you're trying to forget me
While I try to O.D. on nightqual

This love is far from painless
As I thrust it into you
So full of smiles and fakeness
I bet you'll regret what you did with that other dude
And now I leave you lifeless

And now the only thing that is left
Are you're broken lies

Broken lies
Broken lies
Alright
Here we go

She would say she loves me
But I don't believe her
Yeah...

She is hang out with friends
That's just a lie
She is seeing other dudes
And playing you like a fool

Yeah
Broken lies
Alright
Yeah

Your lies just seem to flow out of your mouth
Like the Niagara Falls
Seems to be no end
Getting lost in each lie and wave

Pulling me deeper in
Trying to stay above the crashing waves
Can't keep up
I am drowning

Yeah…
Broken lies

would u mind if i used or poems and tried to turn them into songs?????

idc just give creadit

never mind i would mind! :oops:

i am sorry

I think the've said it all, man...awesome work, don't stop, it's gooood stuff :shock: :D :shock: i love the shock face, i don't know why, i'm an obsessed friek in shock at this moment....what was i talking about again, sorry, i was in my own little world there, i'm back, mega thumbs up, k?