Gee,
I guess I should have realized a long time ago how easy it was to write using cliches . . . . .
http://www.soundclick.com/neilstuart
EASY COME, EASY GO
one day you're standing up
and the next day your falling down
sometimes you just sit there
and take a look around
and you see all the people who have
and those that have not
and you tell yourself it doesn't matter
what you have or haven't got
because it's easy come, easy go
one moment you think you understand
and the next you just don't know
one day you look up and there's sun
the next day all you see are clouds
and all you want to do is run inside
but someone tell's you it's not allowed
the house that you thought was yours
the bank took it away
and you tell yourself it doesn't matter
and you have nothing more to say
because it's easy come, easy go
one moment you think you understand
and the next you just don't know
and you might think your life is shattered
and you have no reason to live
but you realize it's not about what you have
it's all about what you can give
and you can remember when your pockets were full
though now they're as empty as can be
but you're reached a point in your life
where you can finally see
that nothing ever stays the same
for better or worse
one day you're in a Cadillac
and the next day you're in a Hearse
because it's easy come, easy go
one moment you think you understand
and the next you just don't know
because it's easy come, easy go
one moment you think you understand
and the next you just don't know
Hi Neil
I don't know if I can agree with you that writing a song filled with cliches is easy as I'm struggling like crazy with this week's assignment.
You've got a good sentiment going here but I have to say that this is my favorite part:
that nothing ever stays the same
for better or worse
one day you're in a Cadillac
and the next day you're in a Hearse
mostly because you've taken a specific image and made a great statement out of it. In other words, you've rewritten "easy come easy go" (or rather "here today and gone tomorrow") in an original, creative and thoughtful way. This one verse is your writing at its best and makes the whole song worth it. More verses along those lines would definitely be welcome.
Musically, the song moves nicely and I like the way you're incorporating more fingerstyle into your songs. The only suggestion I'd make is in the chorus. Try using Fadd9 (XX3213) instead of the Fmaj7 and see if you like how it sounds. I think that keeping that G note on the third fret of the high E (first) string might punch it up a bit. And if you do like that, then on the last line of the chorus, instead of holding onto the Fmaj7 for the entire time, go from Fadd9 to C (keeping the pinky on that third fret of the first string) and then back to Fadd9 before the final G. Just a thought.
A belated Happy New Year to you sir and I look forward to hearing more of your songs in 2007.
Peace
I can think of a few changes that I think you should consider.
First of all musically, the melody of the last two lines of the chorus are pretty much all the same note. The melody for the easy come easy go line is a nice hook, but they you follow it with a monotone section. Something to think about.
The words are good, but I think you might make it easier to sing and a easier to understand if you lopped off most of the "ands" "buts" from the beginning of the lines. I'd also think about changing the Because at the start of the chorus to and Oh-oh or something. I used to get marked off in grade school for starting by sentences with Because. Tom Waits would probably start each Chorus with something a little different, one would be because, one would be "you know it's" another would be "That's right it's" or something like that.
Hi Neil
I can't offer any changes ...
But I did really enjoy this ..it has a irony in it one can read into the lyrics what one wants to on thisI think .
Well done
Trevor
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Neil,
David " took the words right out of my mouth :roll: .
I was reading through and thinking hmm this is going on for a little bit (not a critisim BTW), and then BANG this verse:
that nothing ever stays the same
for better or worse
one day you're in a Cadillac
and the next day you're in a Hearse
made me sit right up in my chair, this is a great verse well done.
Ill have a listen when I get home.
Paul
Nice work! The hearse verse is wonderful and struck me right away. The rest are strong as well. I'm not sure what I'd change.
Thanks all for your comments and suggestions.
David: really appreciate the guitar lesson. I am so in need . . . . . . . and your comments are always on the mark.
Lavadave: yeah, you're right. I tend to start off a bit wordy and then through repetition begin to weed out the excess. Thanks.
Neil
