well check me out, first in this week..... yes ur right its only cause i cheated, the chorus used to be two lines, until i started thinking about a title, and realised it made a half decent hook, and just had to include it.
so anyway here it is:
Sailing The Seven Seas of Alcohol
Its halfway though the night
And the alcohol's flowing
Seems like everyone's smiling
But there's currents around me
Two men in competition
For just a single woman
As the waves rise higher I furl my sails, Try to stay dry but I know that I'll fail
Sailin' on these seven seas of alcohell
And as they lap around her
Like tides governed by favour
She doesn't know she's Neptune
In this sea of alcohol
Feel like a boat in her thrall
Just praying ‘please save my soul'
As the waves rise higher I furl my sails, Try to stay dry but I know that I'll fail
Sailin' on these seven seas of alcohell
Rebuffed by her calm sea wall
Ebb and flow rip around me
Hoping I'll lead them to harbour
But I choose to sit hove-to
And weather the waves and storm
Until everyone's gone home
As the waves fall lower I set my sails, And journey on with one more traveller's tale
Sailin' on these seven seas of alcohell
any comments much appreciated
cheers
rob :)
hi rob.
that title is awesome! made me read your post compulsively;)
also love the chorus-best part of the song :wink: ...is it deliberate that it is 'alcohell' in the chorus? if so then very clever:) like that.
somehow would've fit the sea imagery task, too:)
great job.
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Rob,
Good work! Can't think of a thing I would change. Great imagery.
Celt
I love the way you got the sea/ocean metaphor in early ("flowing" and "currents") and sustained the imagery throughout........only problem was, I got seasick scrolling up and down......Just joking!
Nice job......
Vic
:) :) :)
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Nice stuff rob
I must admit the title intrigued me, and reading thru it, the use of the sea imagery is excellent. for some reason i found the rhytm is parts tricky, but i read thru it a couple of times and worked it out in my head, so im sure you've got it sorted already.
I liked the alteration to chorus to finish of the song too.
cheers
sozay
currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!
hi
thanks for you comments,
blue the typo on alcohol was deliberate, i periodically change vowel sounds of words at teh end of lines to help the rhymes, it was just fluke that it became 'hell'
as for the rythem, it may well need some fiddling, i havent done the music yet, but unless my basic numeracy has failed me again, and looking at the first line of the whole song it appears that it has, the lines should all have the same number of syllables so hopefully i'll be able to bash it into shape fairly easily.
cheers
rob:)
Hi Rob
Good use of the sea imagery in this assignment and applying it to the party scenario is very clever. Helped me understand better what's going on at the party.
There's no need to get fanatical over syllable counting just stretching one word out or leaving a gap can add atmosphere to the song.
Good stuff really enjoyed it.
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
