Well I'm going to cheat just a little this week, in as much as I wrote this song some months ago. But it still fulfils the requirements.
The inspiration for this song came from two places. 1) My personal life, and 2) SSG.
My son has just turned 16 (he thinks he's older) and at that age the testosterone is being produced at a great rate. And my dad just celebrated his eightieth birthday.
The other inspiration came from this forum. When I first started posting it seemed to me that there were a whole bunch of younger people writing songs that to me had negative themes, that's not a criticism by the way, on the contrary I think its good to deal with negative emotions as well as positive ones. It seemed to me that the optimism of a child is often lost as we grow into adults. Anyway here's the song.
LOST BOYS
© Copyright 2005 Paul Brady
Verse 1
Eighteen
Why don't you treat me like a man
Eighteen
Why don't you ever understand
Don't talk to me like I have half a brain
In fact don't talk to me at all
Chorus 1
Lost boys are so angry at the world
Lost boys are so angry with themselves
Each day just looking for escape
One day lost boys …………turn into men
Verse 2
Eighty
Why dont you treat me like a man
Eighty
Why don't you ever understand
You talk to me like I have half a brain
That's if you talk to me at all
Chorus 2
Lost boys are so angry at the world
Lost boys are so angry with themselves
Each day expecting that escape
Lost boys, yesterday ……..were men
The chord progression is here if you want to play it.
Verse 1
[Dsus4] Eigh [D] teen [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
[A] Why don't you [G] treat me like a [D] man [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
[Dsus4] Eigh [D] teen [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
[A] Why don't you [G] ever under[D] stand [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
[A] Don't talk to [G] me like if have half a [D] brain [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
[A] In fact don't [G] talk to me like at [D] all [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
Chorus 1
F G D Dsus4 D
Lost boys are so angry at the world
F G D Dsus4 D
Lost boys are so angry with themselves
F G D Dsus4 D
Each day just looking for escape
F G D Dsus4 D
One day lost boys ………… turn into men
[Dsus4] [D] [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
[Dsus4] [D] [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
F………………. G…………….
[Dsus4] [D] [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
[Dsus4] [D] [Dsus4] [D] [Asus] [D]
Excellent pbee! It's kind of a full cirlcle thing isn't it? Like the milestone for guys is the day they get their drivers license, and the day they have to give it up. (that was a sad day for my dad, believe me!)
I'm left looking for more though. Maybe a third verse to join the two together?
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
I'm left looking for more though. Maybe a third verse to join the two together?
I'll echo katreich's sentiments. Maybe a verse at "forty" or some middle aged point would be interesting. You could even make a bridge of it instead.
As far as following the assignment goes, I think you got Bob's topic spot on. The song perfectly mirrors the inspiration. Very well done! I especially like the economy of the words. You say an awful lot with very little. More importantly, you convey very different situations while using the same words. Again, very well done.
Peace
So, Pbee kick-starts year 4 with a goodie.....
Not a thing I'd change about this, but if you wanted to, you could add some sort of coda along the lines of lost at eighty, lost at eighteen, lost inbetween and not realising it......
Nice work!!!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Pbee
Even before I read the responses it left me wanting
more. I like the idea of a bridge or something of that
sort.
Maybe something like:
Then one day you wake to find
The lost boys have been left behind..............
Great start to Year 4
Happy SSG New Year
John
D*mn, I was hoping to be the first one to post in the new year. Oh well. The song was great. It really brought out what you were trying to say, and I just turned 18 a month ago so I related to this one quite a bit. Keep it up!
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
Hey pbee :)
I enjoyed this and my thoughts have already been posted here. I just want to ask you about the inspiration from SSG (and maybe go a little off topic).
You say that when you started posting it seemed to you that younger people wrote songs that to you had negative themes. I was simply wondering if you still feel that way. And, please, do share your wisdom if you have any thoughts on why this may be :)
Good stuff
Happy new SSG year!
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
pbee,
What about a verse about the age between?
You will sure connect with alot of people in this one. Great job!
Thanks all for the feedback. So the consensus is that it needs to be a bit longer. I think that is probably fair comment. The thing that I like about this song is its symmetry and polarity, how basically the same words are used to tell two different, but related stories. My concern with another verse is that it could compromise that, because if I talked about middle age then the contrast between the young and the old could be diluted. But I agree, I think the song would benefit from something more. I'm more inclined to towards the bridge or coda idea, and talk about loss in general or even flip it up and talk about gain. Certainly something for me to think about thanks for that.
Manontheside, I hope I didn't imply that all the songs were negative, or that younger people have a negative outlook, cos that was not my intention and I certainly don't believe that to be the case. Its just that at that particular time there were some “darker†songs being written, and some of them very good one's too I might add. It just made me feel a little sad really (the power of good song), and made me try to understand where that stuff was coming from. The whole anger thing with young men as they transition from boyhood to manhood, too old to be a boy and too young to be a man (whatever that is) but lost somewhere in between and being pumped up with hormones. The irony is that at the other end there's another transition that creeps up on you.
Cheers
pbee
Nono, I was just curious about how you experienced it :)
Most of my favourite songs are more or less negative ones, though I tend to listen to songs about feelings and state(s?) of mind rather than political lyrics. I guess I'm a whiner either way, hehe :P
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
