Me first! Me first! :) Sorry to seem so excitable but I don't usually write a song this fast. The verses fell into place first, and were a lot of fun to write (thanks Bob for this fun topic!) The choruses were a late addition and may be revised later. As usual, my usage of 'topic words' is set on overload. By the way, it's not a blues as the title suggests but an upbeat country/rock twangy type number. With a 100% rock beat!
-----------------------------
Vegas Blues
-----------------------------
[verse 1]
I first set foot in Vegas when I was just a kid
And losing all my money was the first damn thing I did
I sat down at a table where she looked into my eyes
Lady Luck inviting me to roll those wicked dice
[chorus]
I play the odds and I always lose
Maybe it's a curse upon this town
It's just a case of your standard blues
That you're left without a lover once the chips are down
[verse 2]
The Russian girls were keen for me to play them at roulette :D
But the wheel started spinning as I went to place my bet
I could tell by their faces I'd been taken for a ride
And before the ball had landed I had handed them my pride
[chorus]
I play the odds and I always lose
Maybe it's a curse upon this town
It's just a case of your standard blues
That you're left without a lover once the chips are down
[verse 3]
Tried my hand at blackjack and I found it kind of fun
Dealer going bust while I was hitting twenty-one
But behind me stood the pit boss who was asking me to leave
She took me to the desert cos I had aces up my sleeve
[chorus]
I play the odds and I always lose
Maybe it's a curse upon this town
It's just a case of your standard blues
That you're left without a lover once the chips are down
[verse 4]
Some say love's a game of chance but I'm not buying in
After all these years of losing reckon I've figured how to win
So with one eye on the jackpot and the other counting cards
I'm betting everything I've got that you're my queen of hearts
Yeah with one eye on the jackpot and the other counting cards
I'm betting everything I've got that you're my queen of hearts
-------------------------------------
Sorry about the awful "queen of hearts" cliche - I desperately wanted to avoid it but it ended up creeping in there somehow! Never mind, country songs are supposed to be cheesy anyway! ;)
btw the second line of the song has had d-a-m-n changed to d-a-r-n by the site's profanity filter... although I am actually thinking of keepeing 'darn' just for pure country cheese value :)
Hi Martin
Are you going to give a writing credit to the GN Forum Censor? :wink: I think it works!
Strange to say that the only thing that doesn't work (for me anyway) is the "Queen of Hearts" thing. Not that line but the entire verse. Not that I don't like it. I think it can actually stand on its own as a chorus.
But for another song, perhaps. In this one it comes totally out of the blue and sends the song spinning off in a direction that, while interesting, seems very out of place with the rest of the sentiment expressed. If you were singing it to Las Vegas, perhaps I'd buy it.
Perhaps you'll be like Vic back in SSG 4 Week 1 and write a whole new song based on that last verse. That could be pretty cool, too.
Looking forward to more.
Peace
Hi
The good old sensor ahh what a marvelle , bringing our words into a different level ... :lol: :lol:
This is very nice , even though I have never entered a casino
( gambling house )
I think you portrayed it very well ( from what I have seen on T.V )
Not totally convinced that I agree with David with the Queen of Hearts lyrics , but thats the beauty of opinions though ( sorry David )
But do agree with David when he said " Looking forward to more "
Keep up the writting
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
I like the Russian girls play roulette! Good Job.
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
Hi Martin
I agree with you the Queen of Hearts is a cheesy and obvious cliche. I suspect it's such an easy image to tie to something else that it's hard to use effectively. I'd suggest a rethink here.
The use of imagery is good although a bit broader in context than just the deck of cards/card game but works all the same
Good stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
Nice lyrics, would be fun to hear it recorded/sung!
I thought that line should have been d-a-m-n seemed like darn was a little soft.
One little change that occurred to me might be the folling line
Lady Luck inviting me to roll those wicked dice
the tense seems wrong to me, maybe invited instead of inviting.
Great Job!!
Hi Martin,
I think your instincts were right with the d-a-m-n word. Given that its meaning is about being cursed I think it is appropriate and sets the tone for the rest of the song. I also feel that verse 4 is fine (I do agree Queen of Hearts is a bit cheesy). Although it is a quantum leap from being cursed and unlucky in love to all of a sudden knowing the answer the last line for me sums up the situation for our luckless hero:
I'm betting everything I've got that…..
Once a gambler always a gambler
Good stuff
Cheers
pbee
In this one it comes totally out of the blue and sends the song spinning off in a direction that, while interesting, seems very out of place with the rest of the sentiment expressed.That's exactly what I thought when I read it. Just my little opinion.
Keep the d-a-m-n in there. I don't think a true gambler would use the word 'darn' to express a huge lose (have you seen the hard-core gamblers in the casino? They're nuts! :lol: )
But I did like the imagery and use of words. Like here:
I could tell by their faces I'd been taken for a ride
And before the ball had landed I had handed them my prideThat's just good writing. Keep it up!
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
Martin,
The darn censor did the same thing to me and I'm
also thinking of keeping it. I started to read this last
night but the first line was so close to where I was
going I figured it would be better to wait as not to be
influenced.
I won't comment on the Queen of Hearts part and
if look at my post you will understand why.
I like the song Good Job!
The chorus is great,
I play the odds and I always lose
Maybe it's a curse upon this town
It's just a case of your standard blues
That you're left without a lover once the chips are down
One small suggestion I would change
"Maybe it's a curse upon this town "
To
"It's a curse upon this town"
As said before
Looking forward to more
John
