This song is my first attempt at heavy rock or metal song. The italicised words are sung to a different metre than the others.
Depression
© Copyright 2006 Paul Brady
Its like I don't know you
Yet I see you every day
It's got a hold your mind
It's taken your heart and soul away
Takes your heart and soul away
Its like you don't know me
You belong in that other world
I'm not on your mind
It's the beast that feeds on you each day
Takes your heart and soul away
Remember our life
Before this began
Now controlled by fears' obsession
Reach for hope
In a powdered stake
A desperate bid to kill depression
Its as I remember
You've come back from that other place
But you pay the price
Lines of peace worn upon your face
There's a peace that's warm upon your face
Remember our life
Before this began
Lost control to fears' obsession
Reach for hope
In a powdered stake
Kill the beast and take possession
.
Hi Pbee
Yeah Pbee I like this alot , only one thing I saw wrong was the length I suppose I just wanted more ...( greedy little me )
Would to hear how you will do ana arrangment for this
Nice mate very nice
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Wow, that's pretty intense. Almost depressed me--ha, just kidding. I wasn't sure what you meant by this line (sorry, sometimes I'm a little slow):
Remember those lives
Are you referring to their lives together or someone else?
Lines of peace worn upon your face
There's a peace that's warm upon your face
My favorite line. That's really good. What no music yet? You? C'mon Paul, you're slackin'.
Joe
Thanks guys,
Hilch, I'm not sure exactly how long it would be cos I haven't a really spent much time on the music or arrangement. I do have a chord progression for the verses and an idea for the chorus but at the moment all I have is a 2 verse snippet that I recorded in order to write the song to and get the metre right. I guess I could always post that up.
Joe, despite the label its not meant to be depressing, there are literally millions of people out there that are living fulfilling lives thanks to anti-depressants, and I say good for them, sometimes you need a little help.
Remember those lives
Yeah I'm referring to their lives together, doesn't quite work does it. Maybe
“Do you remember us “ would be better.
As for the music see above.
Paul
Pbee said:
Yeah I'm referring to their lives together, doesn't quite work does it. Maybe
“Do you remember us “ would be better.
How about:
Remember our life
Remember our life
I like it, thanks Joe
cheers
Paul
On the whole it seems pretty ok, nothing really jumps out as sensational though.
A few comments:
-in the first verse, I don't know what you gain by using both 'taken' and 'takes'. Makes it read rather awkwardly for me.
-a powdered stake, what is that? Some kind of "just add water" anti-vampire kit comes to mind.... ???
-again, where you contrast warm & worn in two similar lines... I feel that this nuance would probably be lost on the listener, unless you really overpronounced both words. Even if they do hear the difference, the two statements are not the most earth-shattering of contrasts (there are other songs that do this much better - just changing one word slightly to totally alter the meaning of the line).
I give one out of two thumbs up. :)
Hi Pbee
Good interpretation of the assignment - works well although powdered stake is an odd expression but I can see where you're going.
Good stuff
Bob :twisted:
You are what you eat, eat well
