The Daily Grind
I wake up as the sunlight, finds that gap in the curtains,
I pull the duvet over my head to protect my eyes,
I couldn't sleep last night, I couldn't be certain,
That I'd ever get a lucky roll of the dice....
I make my way downstairs, put the kettle on for tea,
I need caffeine, to wake up my IQ,
I sit outside, smoke a cigarette or three,
I need that nicotine, to revitalise me.....
I check my planner, got nothing in it,
No job interviews, nothing to do today,
So I check my e-mails, takes all of two minutes,
Seems like no-one's got anything to say,
I pck up a guitar, and strum a few chords,
My heart ain't in it, I'm already bored beyond belief,
So I play some music, and sing along with the words,
A little rock'n'roll, a little light relief,
I find a can of beer, left over from last night,
Pull the ring, let it wash over my tongue,
This ain't the life I wanted, it just ain't working out right,
I never saw myeslf as just another middle-aged drunk....
I'm going to go back to bed, I'm going to have a real good think,
About my life, and where it all went wrong,
I could put it right, but I need another drink,
Or two or three, I need somethng strong,
Yes I need another beer, just to clear my head,
To get my mind out of the rut it's in,
And I need to pinch myself, make sure I'm not dead,
I need one more beer and to hell with everything..........
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I'm hearing this, in my head, as slow and bluesy ........solos in between verses....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi Vic
I am hopeing that the cigarette references are just for imagery and you have not fallen off the wagon so to speak ...
The can of beer verse , made me think of
"Sunday Morning Comeing Down"
Then I read it again and could not get that out of my head I think this would work very well with that style of music and your husky voice belting out the lyrics..
I had a giggle with this line
I never saw myeslf as just another middle-aged drunk....
Either did I ..See myself in that light but Trudy keeps count of the beers for me , she is always saying " Trevor you know thats 5 now you have had " ...he he he
All in all mate its darn good
cheers
Trev...
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Vic
Seems to have a Tom Waits feel to it.
I think Bushpig make sense with his comments about
the double "ain't" I think it works better without the "out"
A small typo here
I pck up a guitar, and strum a few chords,
It would appear you forgot the i in "pick"
And I hope you see yourself as more than just a middle aged drunk.
John
Not much left to say, other than I like it!
The last verse I think is particularly good
Yes I need another beer, just to clear my head,
To get my mind out of the rut it's in,
And I need to pinch myself, make sure I'm not dead,
I need one more beer and to hell with everything..........
Solid writing, as always
Pete
ETD - Formerly "10141748 - Reincarnate"
Vic,
I can certainly see this as a blues number. Although, I also agree with Celt and Barnabus Rock; -- Tom Waits and "Sunday Morning Coming Down". (I'll bet Tom Waits could do an awesome cover of that)
OK, back to Vic... you paint a very vivid picture with this. Nicely done. I hate to keep mentioning it, but I had a real hard time with the meter. I've heard a number of your recordings on soundclick, and have total confidence that you'll make it sound as natural as breathing, but just from the reading, I found myself tripping up in several spots.
Also, every verse had an ABAB rhyme pattern except for verse 2, which had ABAA.
Overall, I liked the writing, It's hard to pick out a particular line, it's more the way you've woven them all together to construct the complete picture. Really nicely done.
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
Hi Vic
This is a grind - very bleak outlook on a life which you portray very well.
Second verse I'm struggling with as Scratch pointed out the rhyme scheme changes and it just throws me off.
Otherwise great depiction of desperation
Good stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
Vic
Cool tune. I'd like to hear it. Hopefully you will have time to post it soon.
I read/sung through it a couple of times and I really did not have any problems with the meter, to me it flowed pretty well. However It seems like you are breaking your ABAB rhyme pattern in verse two and five. Not a great big deal but I am a sucker for rhymes so I just wanted to point it out :)
Overall, well done
Blessings
Olav
