I really like the title "Gravel Roads" by SlowPlay. It conjoured up so many ideas, I had trouble seperating them.
Gravel Roads
v1
Before is just a memory
Another place in time
Life has surely changed somehow
It has aged a bit like wine
Enjoying the simple pleasures
Has brought me peace of mind
Chorus
You can keep an even keel
You can lighten up your load
Just move it all to a brighter side
And take the gravel roads
And when the black top ends my friend
Just take a gravel road
v2
I prefer to take it easy
Avoid most things profound
I refuse to take the fast lane
I've been known to slow it down
I never join the gossip
Just let the wind spread things around
Chorus
You can keep an even keel
You can lighten up your load
Just move it all to a brighter side
And take the gravel roads
And when the blacktop ends my friend
Just take a gravel road
v3
Each day's a new beginning
A decision made long ago
From this trail that I'm driving down
I watch the wild flowers grow
Thank God I found the highway's end
And took a gravel road
Chorus
You can keep an even keel
You can lighten up your load
Just move it all to a brighter side
And take the gravel roads
And when the black top ends my friend,
Just take a gravel road
And when the blacktop ends my friend
Just take a gravel road
hey jojolargo,
this is a cool laidback piece, which i can hear with a country twang or a jack johnson type sound. structure-wise its solid, and the imagery is good, certainly conjures an image in my mind of finding some green field at the end of a drit track and laying back and taking it all in. which to me sounds lke mission accomplished.
good writing
sozay
currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!
Hi jojo,
I like this song to :D . If im not mistaken ( and if I am then I apologise now ) but I suspect that that the first 3 lines of the chorus are on a different "Tack" to the last 3. I could be totally off "beam" here cause it still works anyway, although I might be tempted to rewrite the the first line to remove the reference to "keel". If my suspicions are correct for me then theres a conflict between the nautical metaphore and the land based one.
This line:And take the gravel roads if felt could be tweaked to some thing like "and take the easy roads" cause for me it clashes the last line, which is the punch line. The last line in verse 2 worries me a bit to, in terms of its rhythm, but Im not sure what i would do about it. I dont want to be too picky cos Joe will give me a hard time :cry: and I really do like this song, well done.
pbee
Hey jojolargo,
Thanks for using the title... I'd been sitting on it for a while. All I had were the first couple lines. I wrote it a few months before I moved to the city, in anticipation of the sea of asphault I would soon call home.
Now however, you've given it new life. My song was driving from the gravel to the pavement, while yours turns it around... just what I need to hear.
I'm in the same boat as pbee on dropping the nautical terms. I also share his concern over the last line in verse 2.
However, I will disagree with him on the end of verse 3. I don't think you can change it. Maybe it is a bit repetitive, I dunno, but the sentiment is bang on.
Inspired by pbee's last song, my suggestion for verse 3 is to make it a bridge and use the same melody for the last line of verse 3 as for the last line of the chorus.
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
Hey Folks
Thanks for all your input! I appreciate both the compliments and the critiques. I do have a cross of sea and land things going here. It's kind of a lifestyle thing and I run the two together by habit. That's the great thing about this forum, points of view from those that read and hear your work. I'll work on a rewrite and post it soon.
Thanks again
Jojo
Hey jojo & SlowPlay
I will disagree with him on the end of verse 3.
I wasn't referring to verse 3. I was meaning line 4 of the chorus I think that conflicts with line 6. Of course Im guilty of the same thing myself, and I thought Id be pinged on that one but there you go.
I dunno, but the sentiment is bang on.
I agree. Incidentally Id love to hear Jack Johnson sing this song.
pb
