This song was inspired by Slowplay's submission last week. Sorry SP I just couldn't resist :P .
Street Theatre (he doth protest)
Verse 1
You judge me by the costume and character I portray
You judge me by my gestures and miss the words I say
Conscience screened behind that thought that muttered curtain-line
You think your safe upon your stage as you turn and walk away
Verse 2
But wait there's more encore encore you'll see me time again
A different scene a different act the issue's still the same
If nothings said then nothings done and freedom's just a farce
So look on this as one small act in a larger power play
Chorus / Outro
And so Ill take that centre stage
Provoke, as is my right
But know that when I've played my part
My eyes can close at night
This song was inspired by Slowplay's submission last week. Sorry SP I just couldn't resist.
I don't think there's much higher a thing to aspire to than to inspire someone else. But honestly, if you hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have noticed.
A lot of good lines here. Straight forward to the point. What are you thinking of muscially?
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
Pbee
Nice Job
I like the chorus/outro it sums everything up nicely.
Celt
Yeah, I especially like the outro, and the opening two lines of the song. Well done.
Joe
Pbee
The only thing I will point out is that in V1 line 2 and 4 rhymes.
In V2 line 2 and 4 does not rhyme. This could be just a coincident, but I figured I'd point it out.
Also, in V2 you use the word encore twice in a row. I would consider cutting those words and make that line read
something like: “But wait there is more, you will see me time againâ€
This may mess it up for you, or simplify it too much, but it
was just a thought.
Overall a great song. Love the 2nd line of V1
Blessings.
Olav
Thanks for your feedaback guys :D .
Olav
So look on this as one small act in a larger power play
well spotted, I changed that line just before I posted it, it was this:
So look on this as one small act in a larger power game
but I felt that a power play was more dramatic than a power game, you win some you loose some i guess.
I am happy with the double encore though, its there to give meter to the line and also shouts for encore are often in doublets.
Ive been thinking about song structure lately, my orginal idea for this song was just one long verse and an outro. I was toying with the idea of having the rhyming within the line and not and the end. That line is an example of what I mean, I couldnt get it to work for the rest of the song so I gave up on that idea.
pb
reminds me a little of "Marionette" by Mott The Hoople.....probably my fave band of the 70's, so that's praise indeed....
like everyone else, love the outro....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hey
just agreeing with everybody else here
would have enjoyed more of it ( am I being greedy ) :wink:
cheers
L.K :arrow:
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
