week 40 - Black Cat

... i'm not actually sure if cats do have green eyes... but hopefully some do...

Apparently some do. :) Although they're often more of a yellowish green, some can be quite a good green in the right light.

Cats are not strictly night animals. They are not really classed as nocturnal (night) or diurnal (day) but crepuscular (most active at dawn and dusk) - or so I've read!! :D Cats also spend more time sleeping than they do awake.

Sorry, that's quite enough cat waffle from me!

Lots of good familiar cat imagery, but I was a bit unsure of what the song was trying to say about it. It didn't seem to take us anywhere in particular, yet.

HI MARY JANE

Well thanks to Chris I learned something about cats myself , thanks Chris but more impotantly your song .

What Chris said is partly true it didn't take me anywhere but then again it did ( hard to explain really ) Had a feeling of wanting more but then on reflexion it finished nicely . May be this old Aussie is trying to hard to read into songs now days .

I would love to hear this as I read this I had REM ( everybody hurts playing ) So I grabbed my best friend and tried to put your words to their tune , the first verse went ok but then I fell away big time .

Please Mary try to record this and post it please , I think with music it would sound very nice .
:wink:
Cheers

L.K :arrow:

hey!
thanks for the information on cats Chris but for the sake of the song can cats just be nocturnal? well, they do go out at night... so i guess that's good enough for me... :D
you guys are both pretty right about the song not going anywhere but to me it was just more of a description of the person, like not really including a story...
and sorry Lotto king, i would try to record and post the song but i don't have a microphone or anything to put it into the computer... so yeah... but thanks!
cya!
mary-jane

No worries Mary

take care

:arrow:

Mary Jane
I really did not think it mattered if cats were nocturnal or not. You got your point across very well, you had a great take on this assignment and you used plenty of imageries and cat references to give you an A+. Cant say I would change anything
One question I have though: How do you know my ex girlfriend…:)

Blessings. Olav

Mary-Jane,

I like this song you did a good job on the assignment.

There are two small things I would think of changing though

In the first verse you use the word cat twice
(black cat, cat-eyed stare)
I would think about changing the discription of the stare
maybe to feline-stare or something.

Same thing with the scratching and scratches in the
second verse.
Maybe striking out instinctively or the scars on your skin.

Of course that is just my opinion.

As far as recording goes you can get pretty fair results
with a fairly inexpensive computer mic (I got mine at Radio Shack)
and Audacity which is a free and easy to use program many of us here
seem to like.

This is where I found it.

http://audacity.sourceforge.net

Then all you have to do is set up a SoundClick page (also free)
and you're ready to go.

http://www.soundclick.com/

Celt

Hey MJ,
I liked your song, it told me a little story and painted a good picture. I always felt when reading it that it was about a person. Well done :D .

Definitely check out Audacity as a recording program.

If your microphone does not produce enough power to be plugged directly into the PC. There are 2 ways around this,
1) you can buy a small pre-amp and connect the microphone through this. or
2) what I do is to use my old stereo tapedeck, connect the microphone to that, push the record button ( ive modified mine so I dont need a tape in there), then run a plug out from the headphone socket in to the soundcard plug on the PC. Either the microhone (pink) or line-in(blue) will work (You can also buy adapter cables that convert the output connecters of your tape system to the soundcard connector).
This method has the added benefit of being able to adjust the input level on the tapedeck. You could use this technique with any sound system that has a microphone socket for recording.

pb

Hey MJ,

Ditto to everything that's been said. For recording, I do everything with a $10 computer mic and Audacity. Don't feel pressured to record, but if you never write to music, its worth shot. Very instructive.

Back to the song... yeah, whether cats are nocturnal or not, a black cat is generally considered a creature of the night. However, the line:
a night animal

Seems ackward to me. Perhaps:
Nocturnal animal

or
Creature of the night

As far as not going anywhere. Yeah, I felt that a bit too. It doesn't have to go anywhere; it can be just a description if that's what you want. Just always be sure that you give the listener a way to connect or to care about the subject matter. If you want some story... maybe you were scratched by the cat, or you tried to block out the caterwauling?

Proof positive that a song doesn't necessarily need a story....to my eyes, this is a nice descricptive mood piece...I picked up on the same thing as Celt, there are a couple of repetitions - maybe Bluenightangel's on the right track, and a thesaurus is the way to go?

Nice flow, nice imagery, works for me....

:D :D :D

Vic

heylo everyone!
thanks heaps!!! :D
i'll do my best to get a mic and try recording but it might take a while...
i made the changes you guys suggested and yes thank you!!!!! it helped the song quite a bit...
cya!
mary-jane

Hey MJ,

Very nice. I like it.
a night animal
living in the day
quietly your placing
yourself on display
being independant
...a cat in every way

I'd just change your to you're or better yet, leave it out completely--

quietly placing yourself on display

at every turn
innocent deceit
from every fall
landing on your feet

And I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about this, but it just popped in my head when I read it--

at every turn
cunning deceit

(unless I'm having a brain fart, I think "cunning as a cat" is an expression) But maybe I'm changing your meaning, just a suggestion.

Very nice though. I enjoyed it.

Joe