Week 44 Beach Rose

Hey Celt

Very nicely done, wouldn't change a thing. even though I thought after the first read through that you had repeated the chorus too may times,

Really nice lyrics, almost poetic images - the only thing I couldn't get my head around at first was the concept of a rose growing through the sand....one of those songs you have to read a couple of times before you get it, but it was worth the effort....once I realised it was a metaphor, it all clicked into place.....

"The softness of the petals
The sharp sting of the thorn
The roots that hold to hostile land
And show where love is born" .........

That is absolutely beautiful, I don't know where you got the inspiration for those lines from, but can I have a pint of that please?

:D :D :D

Vic

hey celt,

your muse did a great job......as for you on the other hand, not so sure. :lol: sorry just kiddin'. you did a good job too.

i really get the feeling of a close intimate moment here. in my head the lines are sung low and slow, minimal music, that kinda blends into the background. very vocals based. hope that makes sense.
She's taught me to be like the Beach Rose
To show both strength and grace
To grow in spite of hardship
And stare storms in the face this is my favorite verse.

i do think that the chorus is repeated a little much. the chorus is very nice but doesn't need to be over done.

beautiful song.

-CheapThrill

Celt,

Great stuf. I especially liked

"The softness of the petals
The sharp sting of the thorn
The roots that hold to hostile land
And show where love is born"

though it was all excellent! So no suggestions for you :P

sozay

Hi Celt,

What a wonderful bit of writing. I have to second CheapThrill's sentiments for a favorite verse. It does a wonderful job of summarizing the sentiments of the song. I also concur with the notion that the chorus might be a bit overdone. You might try: verse, chorus, verse, verse, chorus, verse, chorus. On the other hand, it's a nice short song, so maybe the chorus after each verse works just fine. Hard to say just by reading. Anyways, I really enjoyed reading it.

-- Scratch 8)

Hi Celt
What a beautiful song. I hear it as a folk song myself, pipes and whistles etc.
I think you caught the theme of this weeks assignment perfectly.
If we were voting for a song of the week this would be my choice.
Really lovely writing
Beren

Hello All,

Thanks for all the wonder full comments. I too have some problem with the chorus repeating so often. But seeing as this is very much a work in progress I'll let it stand as is for now . I still have to find music and things
may change during that process. Maybe I'll try something minimal and vocal based as Cheapthrill suggested.

Now for a few words on inspiration. Earlier this summer My Lady and I were enjoying a quiet weekend along the New England Coast. As we ate breakfast on the deck of this lovely little cafe My Lady noticed this beautiful flowering shrub growing along roadside. Yes these wild beach roses grab on to any little piece of land and thrive in a most unfriendly enviroment. Thier blooms are lovely and they grow anywhere. My Lady, being a huge gardening enthusiast decides we must find a nursery and bring one of these beauties home. So as I was pondering the assignment a vase of these blooms were sitting next to My Lady on the computer desk.

So Vic if I could figure out a way to put all that into pints I"d be a wealthy man . Well at least in a purely matieral way not wealthy in the way you are when you have the love of a good woman.

Celt

On the subject of the number of choruses. I would say definately verse 1 & 2 chorus. Verse 3 and 4 chorus. I think grouping the verses in such a way would work becasue if you read them together like that.. those two sets of verses compliment each other. Verse one describes the rose as making a triumphant stand.. Verse 2 describes the things that the rose stood through. Verse 3 is more description and Verse 4 is how the rose has bettered the storyteller by being what she is.

This would make the song awfully short.. but maybe there's room for a bridge or something? Say a bit more. Or simply leave things short and (very) sweet.

-marv