hey ya:)
damn I had such a great title...'cigarettes and alcohol'...good that I found out it's an Oasis title before posting :wink: that would've been emberassing...really thought I made it up :oops: ;)
anyway here we go:
Cheap wine
V1
Overrated events
Triviality gains strength
In the dark beside the fence
Where couples don't fear public
Next day excuses are near at hand
V2
Like that:
“Baby I'm sorry, wretched,
Couldn't you've guessed
That it was meaningless
We gave way to our alcoholic breathâ€
Chorus1
I lack the easiness of the cheap wine
Which makes you confess love to anyone entwined
Bridge
Make out with anyone
Enjoy yourself and relax
For me,
It's not as easy as that
Chorus2
Somewhere I heard don't get cheap with the wine
Pointless when on these occasions everything's cheap all the time
--
Vomit everywhere
V1
You hear about it from your friends
How much you've missed out
How they wished it would never end
And if you're naïve like me
You go there for yourself to see
Chorus
Now I wonder what I'm doing here, no one's sober but me
I have neither alcohol nor cigarettes to keep me company
V2
Music worse than on the daily
Radio shows and those
Faked castings on TV
This sh.it's not worth a dance
Don't ask me, I won't, I can't
Bridge
'Party's fun', this statement limps
In fact it stinks, what made me think
This could be alright or even worth the night
Repeat Chorus
V3
Sitting deserted on a chair
Watch them as they
Dance and vomit everywhere
S'pose drugs make them endure
A pity I can't stand their flavour
Repeat Chorus
hm... :roll: ...I'm not very fond of parties;)) at least the ones I've been on were all about drinking, smoking, making out, superficial stuff.....always feels like an outsider if you don't drink(really hate the taste of alcohol!!) and not even smoke :wink: ...and the music...as I said...anyway this surely doesn't apply to all parties...still waiting for a good one;)
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Hi Blue,
Cheap Wine is also and old Cold Chisel song. But, when I read your subject I initially thought you had one song titled -- Cheap Wine and Vomit Everywhere. haha I had to read that.
I like the lyrics to both of these very much but I feel the cheap wine one flows a lot better.
I like the line "A pity I cant stand there flavor" too.
TheJackal.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=283413
Only dead fish go with the flow.
hi,
cheap wine seemd quite awkward to me,
particularly the first verse which is more like a series of statements than a sustained description,
also the style of lyrics in the bridge strike me as punkesque which is a bit at odds with the sentiment of the chorus i feel.
but its a good sentiment that your trying to get across, i'm sure more people would identify with chorus one that would like to admit it, and lines like 'Triviality gains strength' offer some equisite juxstaposition
but i think overall it needs some polishing, perhaps and extra verse to help thinken the plot and add a bit more weight to your message
though its definately got a stack of potential.
as for vomit everywhere, its great.
i was going to quote some favourite lines but more or less ended up copying out the verses ;)
rob
Different take on it to everyone else, that's for sure.......hey you lightened up a bit this week, not as dark and foreboding as your usual stuff!
Both songs are basically the same theme, but "Cheap Wine" seems to me more of a collection of images, summing up the shallowness of it all.... "Vomit Everywhere" (great title, love to hear some DJ introduce that on the radio, LOL) seems more personal, more of a mission statement....
I think of all the songs you've posted these are the most accessible, usually I have to read them at least a couple of times before my poor brain starts working......but that's your style, and they're always fun to read......!!!
Some great lines in there, particularly liked the first chorus of "Cheap Wine" and the lines "Music worse than on the daily radio shows".....that rings so true!!!
:) :) :)
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hey blue,
couple of great songs here. i remember parties just like these :P captured very nicely.
nice work
sozay
currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!
:D thanks everyone for your kindness :D
Cheap Wine and Vomit Everywhereyes that would have made a great title, too:) I think I thought about that but as the lines were restricted this week I had to split it into two songs...feels like both would have turned out differently if it hadn't been for the limit of lines, verses and so on :wink: by the way i guess the restriction made me make it more tight- maybe that's why they're more accessible;)
isn't the first verse of cheap wine a coherent description, rob? I think so...1st line:where are we? a party. 2nd line: what's it about? triviality. 3rd line: where is triviality? in the dark, fence etc. 4th line: triviality beside a fence? yes, the couples making out and everything for everyone to see. 5th line: how can they do that without losing their dignity and face? they've got excuses......for example in the next verse: alcohol.
see what I mean? :wink:
I don't really feel that punkesqueness in the bridge...hm...but it's a nice thing(punkesque things in my writing, yay! :D )...yet I do agree it's a bit awkward having chorus2 following...perhaps it would do to have it this way: bridge, chorus1, chorus2 ? a third verse would be ok but I can't think of anything worth adding... :wink:
I was going to quote some favourite lines but more or less ended up copying out the verses -how cute:) thank you! been feeling the same way, too(e.g. almost always I read any of marv's stuff..)
yeah, vic, they're a bit less dark this week:) shiny happy people... :lol:
I'd like to hear that DJ, too! you're right, the second song is really a personal thing(seldom enough)
i remember parties just like these ...sozay...does that mean you're a fellow sufferer? :lol: *offering a free membership in the parties suck club*
thank you all very much!
replies are the best part of this forum:)) (after getting to write and helping others, that is :wink: )
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Bluenightangel,
Nice Work! I too thouhgt from the title of the post I'd be looking at one song. What a pleasent suprise. I like the way you used the two choruses on Cheap Wine.It makes for a nice juxtaposition. As for Vomit Everywhere Never thought the I'd enjoy a song with vomit in the title but you really made it work. The chorus:
"Now I wonder what I'm doing here, no one's sober but me
I have neither alcohol nor cigarettes to keep me company "
Made me miss both alcohol and cigarettes and not miss them at all at the same time. Just kind of a "been there done that" sort of thing.
Celt
Hey bluenightangel,
These are really, really terrific. You've really managed to take the sentiments you want to express, and distill them down to manageable pieces! I have to concur with Vic on this one. I enjoyed reading both of them, and as was mentioned already, they're not foreboding, yet they still make the point, that some people don't want to be "everybody". (does that make any sense?) Anyways, real good work this week.
-- Scratch 8)
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
:lol: Thanks!!
I take that as high praise(that wonderful word again...'terrific' and 2 times 'really' right before it... :D :D :D )
and thank you Celt :wink:
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Hi Blue
Cheap Wine
Good take on the assignment - you must have been to some bad parties I hope it's not autobiographical. :wink:
Vomit Everywhere
Reinforces the bad party scene very effectively.
Music worse than on the daily
Radio shows and those
Faked castings on TV
This sh.it's not worth a dance
Don't ask me, I won't, I can't
Good verse, very powerful.
Two good pieces here
Good stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
