Hello,
Didn't think I would get to write or post this week but I managed to
come up with two songs. I'm not sure if either is much good so feel
free to critque at will.
After reading Chris C's " Rantings " I thought I would try something
more on the lighter side with a simple Rocker.
The other song is my usual sentimental crying in your beer crap.
Give Me One Last Chance
Give me one last chance to Rock and Roll
One more song would save my soul
Give one last chance to get it right
Before we pack it in and say goodnight
Give me one last chance to play the blues
Then I'll put on my walkin' shoes
Give me twelve more bars to get it right
Before we pack it in and say goodnight
Give me one last chance to play real loud
Just one more time so I can please this crowd
Give me one last chance to sing my song
Aw come on mister it won't take long
Give me one last chance to Rock and Roll
One more song would save my soul
Give one last chance to get it right
Before we pack it in and say goodnight
Give me one last chance to play the blues
Then I'll put on my walkin' shoes
Give me twelve more bars to get it right
Before we pack it in and say goodnight
_____________________________________________________________
This was actually a coglomeration of a few of my friends who have passed
of various causes. As I was fighting with the ghosts one kept asking to
be heard over the others.
If We Had One Last Chance
(For Johnny S)
If we had one last chance
To sit and play guitars
Getting high and telling lies
and dreamin' we'd be stars
And if we had one last chance
to sing them your sad songs
would that make this missing you
Feel more right than wrong
If we had one last chance
To be see what could have been
Would God take the moment back
And return to me my friend
I'll never comprehend a life
That ends at ones own hands
The measure of a brothers grief
As he tries to understand
So tonight I'll take one last chance
To sit underneath the stars
And play for you a melody
On the strings of my guitar
John
Wow. I have to tell you, your time and meter are wonderful. Do I smell a closet poet? >dimples<
I liked both songs, and would love to hear them to music...particularly the first one. I can't tell you how many times I've felt that way. :::giggle::: Then someone would always step on my toe and shout..."alRIGHT girl! we get it already. Now shut-up and sit down. It's someone else's turn!" [tee-hee
The second song was very touching by the way. I was impressed deeply on both counts.
God Bless,
Veronica
Your Friend In Music,
Sonata Jones
http://www.mp3.com/ModernRelic
http://www.SoftSonata.com-us.com
John,
I agree with SoftSonata. I loved them both. :D
How the heck did you do two such strong efforts so quickly? Were bits of them on the back burner somewhere already?
Both of those could easily find their way to a wider audience. There are a lot of traps in writing rhyming lines (which I routinely fall into), but they're great to sing and play. None of the lines felt forced to me, which is a real achievement with that many rhymes in a short space.
I'm tempted to stop wresting with my limp effort and just spend the time singing and inventing music for those two instead.
But actually I have to get on with the day's work instead. Rats. :wink:
Cheers, Chris
aww, the second one is so sad :( I was all in this dancing, jolly mood from 'Give me from last Chance' and then ya hit me with that beautiful, touching song and now I'm all confused! :( lol great work celt, you're a talented writer. You really showed how one theme can be open to a vast array of interpretation. Stunning, just stunning :P
Jacqui.
"Iam a question to the world... not an answer to be heard."
Thanks all,
Chris wrote
How the heck did you do two such strong efforts so quickly? Were bits of them on the back burner somewhere already?
Actually I was quite tired when I wrote both of these and I believe in
that state of mind you are a bit more open to the thoughts inside your
head. I'm in the middle of a job change and working at two jobs while I
work out my notice at my old one. I didn't think I would be able to write
at all but had an unusually quiet Sunday night and The Muse was active
I guess.
Now that I look at them in the morning light I realize the themes are similar.
Good Friends and Good Music. Ain't that what it's all about?
John
Hey John,
what can I say other than echo whats already been said. These are two great songs. I had the same reaction as Jacqui, its almost as if you were lining us up with the first light hearted one, and then the grand slam at the end. A good artist knows how to work the audience 8) .
In the second song, these would be my favourite lines
I'll never comprehend a life
That ends at ones own hands to me that captures the whole moment, well done there.
cheers
pb
Pbee Wrote A good artist knows how to work the audience
Thanks for the compliment but if I were really good you wouldn't
have caught me :lol:
So I guess there is still room for improvement.
John
I like them both, Celt. Nicely done. A little advice, post the sad one first...unless, of course, you want us to cry in our beer. In that case, once again, nicely done.
Joe
