Week 48 - Hell of a Party!!!

Hell of a song Vic,

Brought me back a few years when that kind of activity was common place.

Celt

great stuff vic
liked the dante's inferno lines, i just read a book that related to that (the dante club), and now i need feel the need to read inferno itself.
Anyways, your song... excellent, wouldnt change a thing. As i was reading the bridge i thought, "aw, he's gone soft..." but the end of the last line tied it all back to the feeling of the rest of the song!
dont change a thing!
cheers
sozay

Ahhh...I see you've been to my house before! :lol:

This is great writing, Vic. The little voices in my head are singing a catchy melody behind it, something in an appropriately campy 80's hair-rock style.

My favorite one of the crowd so far, although the other submissions are great too!

hey vic,

i love you take on the assignment. i like the fact that you are talking about the day after a party and not the party itself. wonderful job here. not anything i would change. the bridge is my favorite lines in the song. And I hate the fact I'm having so much fun... i think this line really sums up the whole song. the greatness of being in the party but the horridness of the after effects.

wonderful read.

-CheapThrill

comatose bodies in various states of undress :D :D

the chorus is making me smile:)

great song...wouldn't be able to judge on the truth of the content cause I never stay that long:)))) I'm always gone before midnight(no party people in me... :lol: )

bluenightangel

I agree with the prior comments Vic. Great song.

I felt like I stumbled over the last two lines of the second verse though.
"Then came a knock.......................
.......................loaded with booze"

Maybe its just how I am reading it but the meter felt a little of on those two lines.

TheJackal.

nice take on the task, and so incredibly true!!

highlights for me were:
comatose bodies in various states of undress
and
And I hate the fact I'm having so much fun...

only concern is that its quite wordy in places like 'no end of a mess', 'then set to with a will', people, especially hungover people, may have trouble digesting it....difficult to say for sure without hearing it.

rob :)

Thats a great song. Takes me back to the 1970's. :oops:

Wonderful!

The only thing I can think to say is I stumbled a little bit over "chill morning air in" and "nap in front of the TV". Somehow the syllables caught me as being a bit out of synch there. Of course, that's just reading the lyric. Setting it to music may line 'em all up. :)

Jackal......

(Quote - I felt like I stumbled over the last two lines of the second verse though.
"Then came a knock.......................
.......................loaded with booze" )

That line caused me more trouble than the rest of the song put together!!! I had so much I wanted to put into it, had to re-write it about 6 times....the way I got round it was:

OK, It's basically a 12-bar but with fairly long lines, but at the end of each line there's an extra couple of bars of music....So I actually start singing "I ain't".......before the last line officially starts, when it does I'm straight into "recovered yet".......In other words I'm starting to sing the last line a beat early......was the only way I could get round it.......

Rob........

(Quote - only concern is that its quite wordy in places like 'no end of a mess', 'then set to with a will', people, especially hungover people, may have trouble digesting it....difficult to say for sure without hearing it.

Take your point, I found it quite difficult this week to fit in all I wanted to say given that the assignment was about brevity.......the original draft had shorter lines, was a bit tighter, but somehow seemed unfinished.....as regards "Set to with a will", yeah it's hard to work with a screaming hangover, but you'll notice I....oops, the party-giver....had a "Hair of the dog" first.....and probably a few more before I'd (er - he'd!) finished.......it's all written from a purely theoretical point of view, of course, would I ever touch strong drink?...................

Dunno what everyone else thinks, but I reckon this was one of the best assignments I've seen for a while....and what's amazed me is the very high standard of the songs, and the fact that no two songs are even vaguely similar.........I for one had to work really hard at this, but I really enjoyed it!!!!

:D :D :D

Vic.

PS Thanks everyone as usual for comments.......

I agree with the problem of trying to keep things breif Vic.

What I am taking from this assignment though is to try and be breif more often. It does tend to tighten things up more and then I can add on afterwards if I have more to say.

I'll say again, nice job. I liked this song.

TheJackal.

Dunno what everyone else thinks, but I reckon this was one of the best assignments I've seen for a while....
Me too. But My LORD what a lot of constraints!

Anyways, to your song, Vic. I like it, but as others mentioned, I had a hard time with the meter in a lot of places. The sheer number of words in places seems like it would make it hard to sing. I really did like the line:
"I hate the morning after the night before."
I would point out that we were tasked with 2-line choruses, but my choruses this week are actually four lines as well. (with 2 of them printed on one line) I cheated.
I for one had to work really hard at this
Amen to that, Brother! This was a tough one.

-- Scratch 8)

Vic

I've not read anyone elses reply to this yet as I just wanted to say without prejudice this is ace, top stuff. :wink:

Now hang on I'll read the other comments - yes just like everyone else - I loved it.

Excellent stuff

Bob :D or should that be 8) if you've a hangover