thanks to everyone for their suggestions. However, this song prooved to be a very particular one and alot of the ideas didn't fit in with the timing o...

hurricane, Theres sometthing I can't put my finger on with this song but I liked it a lotmaybe if you kept the ryhming more consistant for example:the...

" wanted to write a lot longer an detailed but left that for some other day..." I'm almost glad you didn't ...I would have had nitemares for a week lo...

nitetrapper,Nice job on this I really liked the first 2 verses. Just a couple of suggestions though...the line"Works for making a living not playing a...

thanks for the feedback and help on the bridge. I'll try it out but i'm not sure how well it will fit in with the guitar. I know what you mean about t...

maxwell,I liked this a lot...a very beautiful set of lyrics you got here. It's pretty cool how you can take a common subject that's written about and ...

glad to hear the person in question (you) is now sleeping soundly :D Just comment others' lyrics as you see fit or whenever you get the time..no need...

alterego, thanks for the feedbackasked for the chorus i'll think about it and see if I can come up with something better. But, in the meantime if you ...

hurricane, nice job on this...I like it. A few things though..the 1st verse doesn't seem to flow to me ...maybe just some minor adjustments like..."im...

alterego, to be honest this poem makes me pretty depresed. I've never seen the movie the pianist but by the looks of it ..i'm gussing it's a comedy? :...

I really like this...especially"ok your a bit of a looker, try avoiding four divorces and a hooker" "to how fast shall my life unfurl to produce four ...

for starters I think youve got a pretty good song. nice job :) couple suggestions though...you seem to end a lot of lines with"me" like... Will you; ...